Older and wiser

First thank you all for your well wishes and thoughts. I really appreciate it.

But I really want to dive back in too blogging and what other way to do that than a Bean Funny Friday.

1.
I was getting ready to pick Bean up for school and noticed on the way a house that Christmas had thrown up on. There were lights, animated figures, inflatables, EVERYTHING! I was excited and knew Bean would love it. So I picked him up and said, "Bean I have to show you this house. It will blow your socks off."
So we drive by the house and do all of the required oohing and ahhhing. Well after we turned around and headed for home Bean said, "Momma? That house did NOT blow my socks off. See?"
It was all I could do to keep my car on the road.

2.
This morning Bean came in to wake me up. He hopped in bed and was talking to me and his Daddy. Well he decide it was time for us to get out of bed. When I just laid there and looked at him he said, "Mommy I know you are really old and need help getting out of bed. Let me help you. You really need to see a doctor."

Thanks kid.

There are no words strong enough.

Wow. I have really been MIA. I apologize and have missed everyone. I try to pop on every once in a while but being that I am in cubicle hell now and that I have NO spare time at home leaves little time to blog or read blogs.
That being said, I will try harder to carve some time out.
I need to blog. I need my vent time. I also need to read about everyone else’s vents, joy’s and heartaches. Makes me realize I am not alone.

So since it’s the holidays and as Donkey in Shrek says, “My momma said that it ain’t Christmas until somebody cries” here is my cry for you.

Two weeks ago I got a phone call at work. It was my husband.
“Your uncle just called. Your cousin was shot and killed this morning.”
It took all I had not to drop the phone and vomit. I literally heard my heart beating in my ears.
“Bud, slow down” I said as calmly as I could. “Which cousin?” it sounds awful now but honestly? I have several cousins and a name would be great.
“It was Sam, he was shot this morning during a raid.”
My cousin is, well was, in the FBI. No secret now obviously. He was serving an arrest warrant in Pittsburgh and was fatally shot by the dealer’s wife.

So may thoughts flashed through my mind as Bud told me this. Shot? How? Don’t they wear protective gear? Where was he shot? Did he suffer?
None of these thoughts made it out of my mouth as I just sat, in my cubicle, with tears running down my face.

There are no words to describe how I felt. I felt anger, sadness, and confusion all rolled into one. It was one of those things that you never feel would ever come into your family. You read about sad things like this in the news. But you never expect to live them.

The funeral was the saddest thing I have ever attended. I have been to few family funerals. We were lucky in that way. The funerals I have attended are for grandparents and great grand parents. People that you expect to pass away.

Now my family was attending a funeral for a 33 year old man. A man with a young son and wife. In the beginnings of his career. Gone.
“So sad” or “Such a shame” I heard that day amongst the quiet crying in the church.
I had never been to a police funeral. Never in my life had I ever been amongst so many members of law enforcement.
I felt like I was in a movie. This had been the type of things I HAD seen in movies. Yet we were living through it.
It was surreal in the very least.
I rode that day in a motorcade with my family, in FBI vehicles. The Baltimore beltway was shut down for the funeral procession. A procession that included over 3000 people.
During the procession we would go underneath overpasses that held firefighters saluting the procession. People stuck in traffic had pulled over and were standing outside of their vehicles with their hands over their heart. Police officers that were blocking the interstate exits had turned to salute, the Baltimore K-9 unit stood on the side of the road with their officers. Again, so surreal.
The burial was the most difficult part of the funeral. In front of the casket sat my family. I would look up every so often to see my cousin’s wife’s shoulders shaking as she sobbed quietly into the shoulder of her sister. All around us stood those that came to pay their respects. The majority of the guests were law enforcement and there was not a dry eye out there.
When they did the final radio call I lost it. It really hit me at that point that he was gone. I felt immense sadness for his wife and son. To have the one they loved so much taken away so suddenly. So unfairly.

I went home after the funeral emotionally and physically exhausted. I hugged Bean so tightly that he told me I was hurting him.
I have to remind myself after this awful turn of events that I have so much to be grateful for over the holidays.
I have my husband and son. We are healthy; we have food on the table and a roof over our heads.
It is sad that it is events such as this that force us to reflect on ourselves.
I wish all of you a happy and safe holiday this year.

Kids = Large Ego

You know that new commercial about the Volkswagen van commercial with Brooke Shields? You know where she states to not have a baby just for German engineering?

I am thinking I need to make a commercial. But my commercial will have a new approach. It will be why you SHOULD have kids. Main reason? Your ego.

That’s right. Your ego. I have decided that since I have given birth that my once larger than life ego has become so large I am shocked I can make it in the door.

Now I am sure some of you are scratching your heads thinking, “Um no actually my ego is down since after I had a baby I got this freak show of a body.”
I understand that. My body, I admit, will never look the same. BUT if like me you gained a gazillion few more pounds than you planned when you were pregnant since you took it as your one chance to order not one, but TWO large value meals at McDonalds and no one would look at you like you were a big fat pig hungry but PREGNANT, (not that I ever did this) Ahem, moving on.
Anyways if you DID gain a bunch of weight than you lost it like I did that right there is your first ego boost.
“Oh my! YOU had a baby? I never would have guessed you are SO thin.”

Of course if you didn’t lose the weight no worries there are other ego boosts to having a kid.
Case in point, the other day I was getting ready for work and Bean came around the corner. “Mommy you are SO pretty. Just like a princess.”
Yes I know I hugged him so hard and then slipped a 20 in his back pocket so he’ll know to keep those compliments coming.
What? Your kid never says you’re a princess? Hmmmm well how about this one.

I was cooking chili the other day and Bean came up and said, “What are you making?” I told him chili and he looked unimpressed.
Later when we were eating the chili Bean said, “Mommy you make the BEST chili ever. I love it!”

Ah yes. And I love the compliments.

Not a cooker you say? Well then this is my last shot to help you out.

Over the weekend Bean and I went shopping at a local outlet. There were people everywhere (um slow economy? Not at the outlet apparently) and I kept thinking that I was surrounded by morons.
Well this guy almost hit me but I managed to avoid him.
Bean piped up from the back, “Mommy! That man is a BAD driver. I am so glad you are a good driver.”
Ah yes apparently he has forgotten my little speeding incident from a few weeks ago.
What can I say? The kid remembers what he wants too.

So there you have it. Having a kid is the greatest ego booster ever. Even better than dare I say a new pair of shoes. After all the shoes can make you feel good but the kid tells you that you look good.
So I wonder who I can have in my commercial. Maybe Kate from the Jon & Kate show?

No stork lies here

So, I think Bean is going to be a doctor some day. Or a very confused kid. I’m not sure yet. I’ll have to see if I am paying for med school or psychologist.
Are you confused yet? Let me explain.

Bean loves to watch Discovery Health. My mom said it isn’t a good idea for him to watch it but I figure it’s educational. Blood does not seem to faze that kid. Well unless it’s his blood. That’s different.

Bean is actually quite interested in the baby shows. You know Birth Story? Well I should have known that all of this would lead to the question. You know THE QUESTION.

“Mommy where do babies come from?” Bean asked.
“Ummmm well they are made by God (thankfully he asked this AFTER we started going to church.). I replied
“How does God make them Mommy?” Bean asked.
“He just...does.” Oh man this is TOUGH!
“How do they get in your tummy?”he asked again
“Ummm…God puts them there.” I stammered.
“Why?”he asked
“Because when God makes them they are VERY small and need to grow.” I answered.
“Oh but why does the Mommy get them?”Bean wondered.
“Because our belly stretches.” I replied.
Bean puffs out his belly.
“Mine does too Mommy.” Bean said.
“Well a Mommy’s can stretch REALLY big.” I answered.
“Oh, was I in YOUR belly Mommy?” Bean asked.
“Yes baby you were a long time ago.” I said, kind of sadly.
“Yes I was in there, I remember.”
“You do?”
“Mmmmhmmm, can I go back in there Mommy?”
“Uh no, you won’t fit.”
Then I turned on Max and Ruby. This subject had to change!!!

Men spend 9 months trying to get out and the rest of their lives trying to get back in. Next time this comes up - it is all Bud.

Are you there God? It's me Bean.

Well after deciding we no longer wanted to be considered heathens the hubs and I decided to start taking Bean to church.
Part of the reasoning was not only to not be classified as heathens but the reasoning also stemmed from a conversation that Bean and I had a few weeks prior to our first visit to church.

It was a cloudy, rainy day
(Sounds like a bad novel start)

Bean: Momma, I want to go outside and play on my 4-wheeler.
Me: Bean, sweetie, maybe today isn’t a good day for that.
Bean: Why?
Me: Well it is raining outside.
Bean: Oh. Why is it raining outside?
Me: Well honey I guess God decided we need rain today.
Bean: I hate God.
Me: BEAN! Don’t ever say that. That is terrible.
Bean: Well I do.


So this is turn led me to realize that Bean just did not know who God was. We were never die-hard Christians going to church with him so to Bean, God was just some guy that decided to make it rain when he wanted to ride his 4-wheeler.
The nerve.

So before my child started to sound like the Anti-Christ off to church we went.
I had little hope for Bean since he would have to sit still for an hour. Unless Max and Ruby is on T.V. then the child will sit there with his eyeballs firmly fixed to the screen. (This is a WONDERFUL thing when Mommy is getting ready for work)
So we get to church.
Bean is wide-eyed looking around the worship area. We sit in our pew and Bean is still wide-eyed.
I begin to wonder if his eyes will get stuck in that position.
Then the pastor comes to the pulpit (we are Baptist – just so you know!), and begins the welcome and announcements. Then we sing.
Bean looks perplexed and then hears the word “holy” in the song and proceeds to sing that word over and over again.
Hey singing is singing.
Then we have prayer. Bean looks around at everyone’s head bent over and asks “Mommy what are you doing?”
I gently told him “shhhh”. Ever notice that in those quiet moments that your child’s “whisper” seems SO noisy???
Anyways, we then had offering and the money plate was passed. Bean looked impressed at the dollars inside. Thankfully he didn’t try to swipe one.
Then we had the sermon.
Bean shifted around in his seat quite a bit but for the most part he was VERY good throughout the service.
Bud and I were shocked.

Later, on the way home he said, “Mommy, I love God.”
“Well that is great to hear.” I told him.
“Mommy did you know that God is so cute, and he wears pants and shoes like Daddy.”
“Mmmmm.” I replied.
“Mommy did you know that God is right there (he pointed to our back deck) sitting on the table?”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes, he is right there and he loves me.”

Makes you wonder if that study that children can see things adults can't is true or not.

That's my stapler...

Wow. I have truly been SLACKING lately.
I have been slacking for several reasons.
1. Moving. Can we just say moving sucks? I mean really. You would think I had it a bit easier since we were going back to our old house but um, no. Of course adding to the wack job of a move, other contributing factors have made it not a simple task. Read on for clarification.
2. New job. Yeah. So I was so worried about not getting a job. Well I got one and am pretty happy that I did considering the sad state of the economy. Can I just say I am GLAD I am not a: realtor, stockbroker, banker, politician right now??????? (er, sorry if that applies to anyone)
But I am back with the company I was with down south and so far things are good. Except for the fact that I am in a cubicle again. Yeah.
Do you know I have not been in a cube for over 4 years? It sucks. No privacy whatsoever. So don’t fart, burp, take too many personal phone calls or pick your nose since you never know who could pop their little head around the corner.
However being in a cube reminds me so much of Office Space. Haha! Or of being a gopher or prairie dog.
3. Bud is out of town.
You single moms, wives of military men or wives of men who just travel A LOT? I applaud you. I honest too God do. Bud has been gone for three weeks. I am just not used to doing things alone. And of course it leads me to realize that yes, Bud must do something around here since I am so friggin tired. I am not sure if this pleases me or not yet. I’ll get back to you.

But I am going to start making my rounds again. I hope to “see” some of you again soon. And I am working on a pretty cute Bean post. So hopefully this will be the last update post. I admit they are kinda dry.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Okay first let me apologize!!! Things have been hectic here and I for one am pooped.
So some updates: first and foremost I have a job!!!! YAY! My previous company had a position and were able to rehire me at a field office here. I have about a 20 minute drive. I am THANKFUL for this job after seeing so many right now out of work. Times suck.

Let's see what else???? Oh, I got a ticket. Yeah on September 11th. Ironic much???
I was speeding, yes I admit it. There are no excuses for it except that I have a lead foot and that it is a miracle that this is my first one.
Yeah my very first ticket.
So I was on my way to an interview. I was running late, trying to get Bean to school so that I could go to the interview and well I flew past a cop that was hiding in a ditch. I mean really??? Is that fair? No!!! I mean that was some good camouflaging there.
So I flew past him going 66 in a 45. Yeeeaaaaahhhh. Of course once I saw him I immediately tapped my brakes but it was too late. Basically I blame it on instinct for hitting those brakes.
So right when I flew past him I told Bean that I was getting a ticket. I mean I figured unless he was passed out or dead that he caught that one on his radar.
So he pulled out of his spot and I pulled over. Bean started to cry hysterically telling the cop not to send me to jail.
I think this helped out a bit. So he knocked my charge from reckless driving to good old fashioned speeding.

So that sucked the big one. I'm not looking forward to court. Any pointers would help since this is my first ticket ever.
Hate breaking that perfect streak.

I am a bad bad blogger lately

Talk about becoming consumed with my life. I realized this week that I had so much time to blog before er um at work!
Now that I am home I can find so much to mess with. Funny how that works - I was getting paid to blog and now that I am NOT getting paid I am working. I mean it is on the house but it is productive!


So not much is new. I had an interview last week that I think really went well and am crossing my fingers.
I have decided that the first job that I applied for is a lost cause and that the guy just did not want to let me know that I didn't get it. Grow some dude.
Anywho, I have ANOTHER interview tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me. I just do not see myself raising farm animals and veggies as a farm girl.

Bean is just as crazy as ever. He has grown up SO much it seems over the last month. I had a toddler at the beginning of the summer and now as the summer ends he is a little boy. It's kinda depressing.

Since I have nothing to really say and I know you don't want to read my incoherent rambling I leave you with Bean's latest.

After watching Karate Kid

Bean: Momma did you see that man do this?
Makes the motion of a karate chop
Me: Yes buddy I did see that. Pretty cool. I bet I could do that.
Bean: No momma only boys can cause we are SO strong.
Gee thanks and so it begins.

NO ONE IS CALLING ME

So I am proof I guess that the current economy sucks.
I have applied to oh I want to say about 30 jobs. And have had one, yes ONE interview.
WTH?
I mean I expect a little more of SOMETHING! A call, an e-mail, JUST SOMETHING letting me know that each attempt at applying to a job is not a black hole.
I was told at the ONE interview to expect a call, good or bad, last week. Well hello it is MONDAY. I mean really?
I am going crazy here with worry over not getting a job. Ever.
So will someone give me some good job vibes? I need 'em!

Miss me????

Cause I miss ALL of you.

Nothing new to report.
Still trying to get settled.
Still do not have a job.
Still going crazy.
Down to three birds. The roosters moved away (thank GOD)
Still not knocked up. (WHEWWWW!!!!)
However getting tests run.
Apparently at my OB visit this week the doc is concerned and will be running a sonogram.
For what? I have NO flippin clue.

I need to catch up on everyone!!!!

I am wiped out and apparently getting ready to be knocked up

So we are back in our old house. My last day at my job was yesterday and now I am trying to sort through all of the stuff that we had down south that is now piled in my living room. Yeah.
Bud has been up here for over a month now and well not much has been done on the organizational department or moving department. Unless you count the recent acquisition of birds and rabbits.
Well I decided before we moved back that I wanted to move all of the rooms around therefore creating a VERY large cluster.
Well apparently Bud know something I do not. See he is redoing Bean's room. It is a Car's theme. So he has been painting and working on that. Well in the old room that used to be Bean's nursery that is now a "guest room" he started to put up Bean's crib and furniture.
I was like WHY??????? do we need a crib?
He said that he FEELS that we need to hurry up in the kid making department. That he isn't getting any younger.
WTH?
Oh and did I mention that I am NOT currently on BC? Yeah OB won't refill it until I make an appointment. Which I did. I am going next week.
Until then? There will be NO Mommy-Daddy time.

WW: My Little Cowboy

Quality sucks since I scanned them in. Sorry!

The farmer in the dell...

So how was your weekend? Good you say? Exciting?
Well I bet I can up you one.
I had a good weekend per say. However, we did acquire some new pets.

My husband, God help him, or help me, thinks he is a farmer.
This obsession began when we bought the house we are living in. We acquired 4 acres along with the house that was in farm type area.
It was good with me. I was about 2 months preggo when we bought it and even though I could smell the nasty manure across the way at my neighbors I enjoyed the quiet this area brought.
I mean after all I did sleep most of my first trimester.
So while I sat and enjoyed the quiet my husband had a another plan up his sleeve. What's that you ask?
Oh my husband dreamed of a farm. A real farm with cows, horses, chicken, and even a little barefoot pregnant wife walking around.
I however did not share this same dream.
I liked the quiet, and imagined that we would use our land for our new baby to play on with our dog (we only had one then). My dream was quiet. Nice.

Not good enough for the husband. So one day he scoured the local paper and found horses for sale. I groaned that no I did not want horses. It was just one more thing to take care of and right then I was lucky I was able to feed myself through my constant nausea. Forget some stinky horses.
Well he was insistent. "Let's just go look."
I figured what was the harm in entertaining his idea.
Well we came home with TWO horses.

After I had Bean and being so sick I just could not keep up with the horses. Our neighbor took over and we eventually sold them to her. I see them all the time when I walk out my door and they let me pet them. So I get to see them and pet them. I just don't have to take care of them anymore.
Which was good since it was not my idea to get them!

So this weekend husband wanted to go to a livestock auction. He wanted some goats. I was like whatever. Goats were easier than horses right?
Well we never got the goats.
BUT we did inherit three bunnies, 2 roosters, and 6 guinea fowl. Oh yay.

Have I ever mentioned that I am TERRIFIED of birds? I like them in a cage but that is the extent. Now I have 8 (well 7 now - the neighbors dog ate one guinea this morning) BIRDS walking around.

I was kind of hoping that they would wander off overnight (the birds) and I would never see them again. Nope.
They may be dumb animals but they know where the food is.

So that brings me to this:

HUSBAND FOR SALE: late 20's, dark hair, hazel eyes, believes self to be a farmer. If you want to entertain his belief, he is yours. Comes complete with set of roosters and a few guinea.

Shop until ya drop

So I admit it. I am an AVID shopper. I could shop anytime, anywhere. Shoot if you live in a town with one Wal-Mart and I come to visit you? You can bet I'll have a shopping spree at that Wal-Mart.

Well all of my friends and family used to tease me and say that I needed a little girl one day to shop with. That she and I would create a deep hole in hubby's pocket.
When I was newly preggo with Bean everyone swore up and down it would be a girl. I was adamant that it was a boy.
My mom asked me to repeat myself when I told her the ultrasound results. They were just SOOO sure it was a girl.
Nope.

However, my not having a girl has not slowed down my shopping in the least.
There are some cute clothes for boys nowadays. I personally love me some Gymboree.
Anyways, my child did inherit my love for shopping.
Penis or no penis that kid loves to shop.

When we drive by the shopping center I hear in the backseat:
"Momma? Can we go to Tawget?"
"Not today bud"
"PUH-lease Momma! I need some shoes."

Yeah not toys - shoes!!

So yesterday I had to run to Tawget as Bean calls it to get my second book in the series of Twilight. Well when we get there Bean heads STRAIGHT for the boys dept. and begins to comb the racks.
"I like this and this and this" he said as he piled up the clothes in his arms.
"Baby, those are too small for you."
"Oh" he said, "well how bout this?" He was holding a pair of running pants with a stripe down the side.
"Tell you what let's go home now but this weekend? We will shop your little heart out."
He smiled and said, "Okay momma!'

Oh yes, his Daddy is going to hate me for this one...

So I decided I want to be a vampire...

so I can marry Edward.
Wait did I just write that? Oh God I did.
Whatever anyone that reads the Twilight series knows how I feel. I just finished the first book. My silly old life kept getting in the way so last night I just sat up and read it.
And let me tell you? It was AWESOME. I am going out today to get book #2. I hear through the grapevine that I may not like Edward in the coming books but phsaw! to them. I am in LOVE with him.
Love. Love. Love.
Ahhh.........

Okay let me snap out of it.
So want to hear JUST how BRILLIANT I am? You do? Well since we had left our old home vacant for so long my yard was a bit of a mess. (Not like it was awesome before I have a black thumb).
So due to my lack of gardening skills I had several very tall plants growing. Some of you MAY refer to them as weeds.
Well I was all set on pulling them all out of my flower beds. I tugged and pulled on those suckers but I got em out.
Well my dear Bud noticed we had several patches of poison ivy around the yard. (We live on 4 acres) and bought some killer for them.
Well he called me this morning and asked if I had any itching or redness on my hands.
Nope I told him.
But then I was like, "Gee honey why do you ask?"
Turns out those weeds I was pulling? POSION SUMAC.
Yeah. I am the SMARTEST girl ever.
But I think I should be okay. It's been 4 days and nothing.
Pray for my wittle hands.
Now I leave you with the Twilight trailer. Oh yes you will LURVE it.

Freaking nut jobs.

So I was all set to write a post about one specific event but then AFF reminded me of something that happened to me a while back and well I decided that while it was fresh in my mom brain (really it is a disease!!!!) that I had better post about it.

So AFF was approached by some random dude at the mall. No biggie. I mean she is hot what do you expect? Well my story was a bit more freaky.
I was on my way to work one day and stopped at Wawa (you don't have Wawa???? OMG you are missing out) to grab something for breakfast.
Well I was behind this older man (think dad type) and he asked the cashier to ring me up.
Well we both must have looked confused. The guy went on to explain to the cashier that I was just too pretty and that he wanted her to ring me up and PUT ME IN HIS BAG.
Um yeah. I just kind of gave him a weird smile and tried to ignore him.
He just kept going on and on. Finally one of the guys I work with happened to walk up and the guy backed off.
Seriously? People like this really exist?
He was probably a rapist or something freakish.
Or a nut job.

Moving on......

So coincidentally the post I was going to write about is another nut job situation of sorts. My son is with my mother this week. She has been dying to keep him for an extended period so we agreed to this week. Well the other day she, my dad and Bean went to see Wall-E.
Now my mother has birthed three children. She is not new to the parenting field. Well she bought Bean one of those jumbo drinks. I think it was lemonade. Well Bean is like any child and just kept sipping at his drink throughout the movie. Well we all know what that amount of liquid does to a child size bladder.
He had to go pee halfway through the movie so my mom took him.
Then right before the end of the move he had to go again. He told her he had to GO RIGHT NOW.
She kept trying to tell him that the movie was almost over but being a freshly trained child he knew that when you have to go? It is right now.
So what did my mother do you ask?
Well only the most trashy thing I can think of.
She grabbed her empty soda cup and told Bean to pee in it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE THEATER.


I mean really? How hard is it to walk to the bathroom? Yeah so he misses the end of the movie. Who cares? My dad could have told them what happened.
But no, apparently my mother was too into the movie herself so she had my kid pee in the cup. Nice huh?
Now if it had been a road trip and there was nowhere for them to stop and THEN she had him pee in a cup? Well that would have been fine. But not in a MOVIE theater with a bathroom right there!!!
Another freaking nut job.

On a side note: I am fully engrossed in Twilight. It is so good. I can't wait to see what happens.

Just twist my arm a little more...

I jumped on the band wagon last night. I have now been officially sucked into the series known as Twilight. I admit I did it mainly out of curiosity and also to fulfill my need to read. I am a notorious bookworm. Being a mom however has caused my list of "to read" books to grow by the day.
I heard about the series from Janet. Her daughter, Roo girl is obsessed with the series. I chalked it up then to being a teenage series. Then good old AFF became sucked into the series. Then I saw it on the news.
So I did what every follower does. I bought the first book in the series.
And now? I am hooked.

I am one of those people that finds it VERY hard to stop reading a book once I begin. VERY hard.
So I am sure that during this time my husband will be neglected, the house will be messy and my work will suffer.
But I will finish this book!


Oh on a side note - the Bean is visiting his grandma up north this week. This allows me to indulge my reading habit.
Of course even with Bean gone I still get to hear all of the crazy thoughts come out of his mouth.
The latest?
A fire truck and police car passed his grandma's car yesterday on the way to the store.
Bean looked at my mom and said, "Nana? Did somebody die?"
My mother was shocked and said, "No honey why?"
Bean said, "Well they must have been very very bad."

Sorry Mrs. Butterworth

Apparently I have failed.
I took off work this past Friday in order to gain some control over my crazy life and ended up with even more to do. That just sucks.
I kept Bean home with me that day. I asked him when he got up what he wanted for breakfast.

"Pancakes."
"Um, how bout an egg Buddy! I can make it and then you can add ketchup!" (yes I know it is revolting but he loves it)
"No Momma pancakes."
"Um well Daddy usually makes those. And he is at work."
"YOU can make them Momma."
"Actually Buddy (hanging head in shame) I can't. Mommy never learned how."
"Why Momma?" (yep we are in the why phase, please shoot me)
" I just never learned."
"Oh"

Yeah I felt like a failure! Like Mrs. Butterworth was LAUGHING at me. It sucked.
Now I love to cook. I try just about anything. but pancakes? Scare me. I should have tried to make them I really should have. Bad momma!

And thanks for the comments on my 100 things post.

IT TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE!

I am still shocked no one had any reaction to my boob comment. But then you are women and not men.
The word boob would have been the only thing they saw in the entire post.

100 things about yours truly

Oh yeah baby. I have made it. Who'uve thunk it? 100 posts.

So apparently I hear that when one reaches this magical number that we have to list 100 things about ourselves.

Sheesh. I hope I do not disappoint.

1. I am female.
   
2. I have blue eyes. (yes I know I am starting slow. Bear with me. I need to warm up)
   
3. I have no idea what my natural hair color is. I'll have to inspect my roots better one day. Let's just say the color changes whenever I get it done.
   
4. I am married to my high school sweetheart. ( I know, I know AWWWWWW!)
   
5. We have been together for 11 years this year. (November 21st. Write it down. I'll wait.)
   
6. We have created a perfect child together. The Bean. No, I am not biased. Of course his perfection level changes on a daily basis. Be sure to ask me on a good day 'kay?
   
7. Small confession:I was pregnant when I got married. Yes, Bean was a surprise. There IS a story here. Apparently I figured that when one is on birth control then that person is covered for a few months AFTER coming off of it. Or so I was told. By a VERY unreliable source might I add. (They seemed reliable THEN in my defense!)
   
8. I was in the middle of planning our wedding when the stick had a + sign. This is turn changed our date and we moved it up. Our date was set for April but we got married September 4th.
9. I was 16 weeks pregnant when I said "I do". Bud and I are planning on having a vow renewal next year!!
   
10. Bud LOVES to tell people we were married in a bar. In my defense it was a RESTAURANT. I swear. But yes it did have a bar in it. He exaggerates. A lot.
    
11. I finished my last semester of college when I was pregnant with Bean. He was born 3 weeks after I finished.
    
12. Bean was originally due February 22nd 2005. He had a different plan and arrived January 17th 2005.
    
13. I had an emergency c-section.
    
14. I was VERY sick with HELLP when I had Bean.
    
15. His birth was both the happiest and scariest day of my life.
    
16. I was 34 weeks pregnant when he was born. Luckily he was healthy. He weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces and was 19 3/4 inches when he was born. Imagine if he had been full term.
    
17. I was in the hospital over a week. It sucked. But this was not my longest hospital stay. See # 47
    
18. I began my college career set out to be an elementary school teacher.
    
19. Plans change. I became a history major.
    
20. I love early American history and WWII. I recently became interested in European history. Especially the English monarchy. Fascinating stuff actually. It is JUST like a soap opera. Try it you just might like it.
    
21. Okay yes I am a dork. I watch the History channel. Shut up it rocks.
    
22. When people meet me they think I am an airhead. I love to surprise them.
    
23. I also used to be told that I was not easily approachable because I looked like a snob. I am not. Those that know me well know this is true.
    
24. I was born and raised a Navy brat.
    
25. I am very supportive of our military. I know I have a greater appreciation for them since I know what it is like being a family member of one.
    
26. My father, brother and brother-in-law are active duty in the military.
    
27. I pray for them and all of the military everyday.
    
28. I grew up in Southern Virginia. I love it there and know that one day it will be my home again.
    
29. I have moved more with my husband that I ever did as a Navy brat. This baffles me.
    
30. I have lived in Florida, Washington D.C., Northern Virginia and Southern Virginia.
    
31. I love animals. I think my true calling was to be a vet. That will never happen. So I just try to convince Bud to let me have as many as possible.
    
32. So far I have two Golden Retrievers and I adore them.
    
33. One of my Golden's only has three legs. He was hit by a car last year. The car that hit him was my neighbor.He was speeding down a one way street and still has not come over to apologize. This was over a year ago. I believe that karma is a b*tch.
    
34. I am a list freak. That does not mean I complete everything on them. I just like to write stuff down.
    
35. I alphabetize everything. DVD's, books, spices. It is an illness. Or at least Bud swears it is.
    
36. In fact, apparently this illness is SO freaky that I also have my closet color coordinated. Remind me to show you a picture sometime.
37. I guess after stating the above two confessions you could come to the conclusion that yes, I thrive on organization. Bud does not. He thrices on chaos.
38. I am a planner. I like to have things planned out. SO far in my life this NEVER happens. See # 8 and #16.
39. It is a wonder I am not on some type of medication that helps me cope with my life. My mom tells me I should be. I tell her to pop a Xanax and leave me alone.
40. I am the go-to person in my family. Have a problem? Please call me. Apparently I specialize in pregnancy issues, parenting, relationships,technology, cooking and party planning and pet care. (Personally I don't think so)
41. I have an undeniable obsession with the Internet. I love it. I need it.
42. I feel that TiVo is one of the best inventions since sliced bread. Truly.
43. I watch too much T.V. (See above)
44. My favorite T.V. shows are usually mind numbing. Currently I never miss: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Desperate Housewives, Lost, Gossip Girl, The Hills (shut up you watch it too).
45. I have almost died twice.
46. No, I am not being dramatic it is true. See #14 and I'll explain the other.
47. I was 15 years old the first time I came close to death. I was driving to school with Bud(we had JUST started dating) and we had a head on collision with an 18-wheel logging truck. We were in a Honda Civic. I had to be cut out of the car with the jaws-of-life. Then along with Bud was airlifted to the nearest trauma unit.
48. I survived (obviously!) with a broken right femur and a NASTY gash in my right knee. Bud broke the same bone.
49. We both had titanium rods in our legs. Bud had his taken out 8 years ago. I decided after watching how painful the recovery from THAT was that I'd leave mine alone.
50. I started dating young. See #47.
51. .
52. I have been best friends with my BFF since I was 8.
53. I honestly do not know what I would do without her.
54. Actually most of my friends are from my younger days. What can I say? I am loyal.
55. I admit I have neglected my girlfriends over the years.
56. Then I discovered that one needs her girlfriends and have vowed to never let that happen again.
57. Out of my close friends I am the only one with a kid.
58. This can be challenging sometimes. It is hard for kidless people to understand why you can't drop everything to go out.
59. But luckily my friends, my good friends, understand and Bean loves them as much as I do.
60. I think that is a very special thing. He has more "aunts" and "uncles" than I ever had.
61. I have never lost anyone very close to me. I dread the day that it actually happens.
62. Although my family can drive me crazy it is so hard for me to be away from them .Hence the reason I never actually went "away" to college!
63. I have never had a speeding ticket. Or any ticket for that matter.
64. Now that I have said that I will probably get one today. Crap.
65. I admit my most favorite holiday is Christmas. Not the present portion. I love the decorations, music and "other stuff". I really appreciate it more since Bean was born.
66. I love music. All types. One day I'll be listening to Top 40, the next country, the following day it could be classic rock.
67. I will say that if I HAVE to choose my favorite it's country. Love it.
68. However, my all-time favorite band is Dave Matthews. I will finally see them live in a week. I can not WAIT.
69. My favorite movie of all time is Steel Magnolias. I swear I have it memorized.
70. My second most favorite is The Notebook. Whatever you know you like it too.
71. I love Jodi Piccoult. Her novels are awesome. If you have never read her before start off with "My Sister's Keeper." You will not be disappointed.
72. I love football. Seriously love it. I was a cheerleader growing up and I think it began there. There is nothing like a fall night watching a game. Awesome.
73. I collect snow globes.
74. And shot glasses. I have them from all over the world. (Thanks to my dad and brother)
75. I love to travel.
76. I have been to a few foreign countries: Germany, Australia (GO if you ever get a chance!), Austria, the Dominican Republic, and the Bahamas (that doesn't really count).
77. I am working my way around the U.S. so far: Florida, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, New Jersey, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New York, Rhode Island, Kentucky, Ohio, West Virginia, Tennessee, California and Arizona. 18 so far. I have a ways to go!
78. I have a special love for the beach. Most people say they do but I really love it. There is nothing like it.
79. My favorite smell is fresh linen.
80. My second favorite is the beach.
81. My favorite food ever is spaghetti.
82. I also have a love for authentic Mexican.
83. And bread. God I love me some fresh baked bread. No sourdough though. Nasty.
84. Oh and fresh tomatoes. With salt. MMMMM. I lived on that when I was preggo.
85. I love to cook. I am always trying new recipes on Bud and Bean.
86. I love to have Bean help me in the kitchen. He is an awesome stirrer.
87. My favorite alcoholic drink ever is a good margarita (frozen no salt). You can usually find me with a rum and coke or some white wine.
88. I really don't drink much anymore. I can go weeks without any alcohol. I am not sure when this started.
89. I could live on sweet tea.
90. I secretly eat Famous Amos cookies when no one is around.
91. My favorite place to shop is Express. I could spend a fortune in there. And V Secret.
92. I love to wear heels. Bud hates when I wear heels.
93. That is because Bud is not tall. I blame that on his Italian background.
94. However, Bean, he is TALL. 43 inches at 3.5 years old.
95. I like to dress up but I could live in jeans and a sweatshirt.
96. I always wear my diamond tennis bracelet. Always. It's lucky. I think.
97. And my wedding set.
98. Oh and my boobs - totally fake.

DONE!

WHERE is the trash can????

So I may have mentioned on here at some point that I do not do vomit. Not from an animal, an adult and yes not even my own kid.

Puke FREAKS ME OUT. The sound, the smell, the LOOK!


So last night I knew something was up with Bean. The kid is three years old and was "resting" as he said on the couch.
Whaaa???? You're RESTING?

So I figured it was one of two things:
1. My child had been abducted by aliens and was now replaced by an alien look alike that OBVIOUSLY did not know that human toddlers never REST.
2. He was sick.

So I went into what Bud likes to call "Annoying Mommy" mode.

I started off with general questions.
"Bean what hurts? Your tummy, your throat, your head?????
"Nothing Mommy, I just tired."

I moved in deeper.
"Bean honey you can tell mommy. Did someone hurt your feelings?
"No momma"

I tried rewards.
"Bean honey you want some ice cream, cookies, um candy"
"No Mommy I fine."

OMG! Something was VERY wrong.

So I did what any other mommy would do.
I threatened.
"Bean if you do not tell Mommy where is hurts then I will have to take you to the doctor."
"NO MOMMY!!!!! PLEASE!"

NOTHING was working.

So after several long sighs from Bud that I was obviously annoying him as well, I gave up and decided to enjoy the "resting" Bean was doing.

Every time Bean moved I told Bud, "He is going to barf. I know it."
Bud would just look at me and roll his eyes.

"Leave the kid alone. He probably just got overheated today.

Humph. Like MEN know ANYTHING.

I decided I was right about an hour later when Bean went potty and had diarrhea.
"See!" I said triumphantly to Bud. "He IS sick. I knew it."

Bud sighed again.

Then at 10:30 Bean curled up on the couch and gagged.

"Oh God!" I panicked. Where? What? Ack what do I do?

I grabbed Bean as the first heaves came.

"Bud!!! HELP!!!!"

"Coming!!!"

Bud got to me with a trash can as Bean was finishing up his violent spewing.
Oh well better late than never.

So that began my night of the barfs with Bean.

Of course give Bud 24 hours and he'll get it. Pray for me. Sick men suck.

Sometimes I hate when I am right. Stupid mom intuition.

Okay seriously?

So I have decided there are WAY too many idiots in the world. I mean seriously? Do you ever wonder how some people manage to get themselves out of bed in the morning? Because they are so stupid that it AMAZES me that they can figure out how to put one foot in front of the other.
Ahem. Hold on I need to count to 1000 10.
Okay so let me bitch tell you about why I feel this way.
So I have a few examples.

Example 1
Scene : Bloom (grocery store)
Me: Walking aimlessly trying to find the capers. I type the word capers into the dummies helpful computer.
Computer: Aisle 2.
Me: Thinking okay, no problem. On to Aisle 2. I COMBED that d aisle. No sign of capers ANYWHERE. DAMN IT! BAD COMPUTER!
Found an employee finally. (Too bad you can't enter THAT in the computer, "Do you have anyone that WORKS in this store?)
Asked said employee where capers are.
Employee: Oh could you not find them?
Me: (thinking) No genius I just felt like WASTING my afternoon looking for them.

Example 2
Scene: Starbucks
Me: Standing in line waiting for my crack caffeine fix.
Person in front of me: (Staring at menu board) Um, what do you have?
Cashier: (Probably thinking WHAT A FLIPPIN IDIOT) Um, everything on the board we have.
Person in front of me: Um, can I get a small coffee?
Me: (thinking OMG!!!!!)
Cashier: Which flavor? We have two today.
Person: Um just regular.



Seriously where do these people COME FROM?????
Under a rock somewhere????

And so it is done

So I spoke with my boss this morning. Finally! I was a basket case this morning and too upset to go to my neighborhood Starbucks to enjoy a nice iced caramel macchiato. Yeah you know it's a bad day when you can't even get that!

So I told him. He seemed upset that I was leaving but understanding. This is a business after all and well these things happen. I put it on the table that I am willing to be flexible and telecommute/work from corporate to continue my support for him.
He seemed a little hesitant and explained that he would rather have someone at the office here so that he knows things are being taken care of when he is out of the office. (Which is around 85% of the time)
Okay understandable. But he did tell me that he would think about it.
So say a thought for me that HOPEFULLY he agrees to it.

I have to admit I feel a LOT better that the news is out there.

Overheard at the IL's last night

So we just got a Wii. Or actually Bud got one as a LATE bday present from his parents.
No matter. It was WORTH the wait.

So last night after we got back from our house up north hubby and I decided to play a round.
Bud: Want to play tennis?
Me: Sure.
Bud turned on the tennis. (Mind you I had NEVER played before, he has)
Bud: I'll serve.
Me: whatever.
Bud serves.
Me: HEY! I wasn't ready.
Bud: Sorry.
Me: I want a do over
Bud: Quit being a baby.
Bud serves again!
Me: HEY!!!!!!! Can you not WAIT for me?
Bud: Sorry
Bud serves again.
Me: OMG! I wish that I had a real racket right now so I could beat you.
Bud: Sore loser.


Oh but I WHOOPED him in bowling. Guy never had a chance.

Bean Friday funnies: Oh that Bean head

Bean. What can I say. If it weren't for that kid I would probably be in the looney tooney bin babbling obsenities and hitting my head on the wall.
The lastest and greatest.

On personality issues

Bean: (crying becasue I can't fast forward through commercials on our bedroom tv)
Me: Bean seriously, watch the commercials. They show toys and food. Just watch.
Bean: (Wailing) Buuuutttt I want to watch the bunny (Max and Ruby one of the MOST annoying shows EVER!)
Me: Buddy they'll be back on in one second. Stop crying
Bean: Mommy I not crying I happy (said with tears running down his face)
Me: O-kayyyyy.

On anatomy

Bean pulling his boy part in the tub.
Me: Uh sweetie careful there.
Bean: Look Mommy it stretch.
Me: Uhhhh. I think you could injure yourself.
Bean: No Mommy it okay.
(Me thinking that this is happening WAY too fast for Mommy!)

On another note I still have not gotten a chance to speak with my boss. It is killing me.

No News is NOT always good news

So the decision has been made. We are moving. We have to actually.
This has been SUCH an emotional few days.
Let me start somewhere.
SO Bud got his offer letter from the new company on Monday. I asked him what was he going to do. We have decided the night before that if his current company signed off on the generous promotion that we were going to take it. No questions asked.
Well as of Monday afternoon the current company STILL had nothing nailed in. And then we had this offer letter in hand that requested a reply NLT Wednesday.
We were stuck between a rock and a hard place.
There were lots of debates, lots of arguing, lots of well talking between Bud and I.
Finally he told his current boss (after I MADE him) that he received an offer letter and that he was going to take it.
His boss confessed that he could not guarantee the promotion PAST the end of the fiscal year (for you non government people the end of the government fiscal year is September 30th).
So he was unsure if he could give us the pay raise after September. Nice.
Then he went on to say that depending on the government that he could not guarantee a job for Bud past October (it is a huge drama that has nothing to do with Bud)
So there we had it. A definite job offer in one hand and in the other a lot of questions. Te decision was basically made for us.
Bud leaves on the 28th. I will be here until Aug 8th. I STILL have not talked to my boss. He is out of town and SHOULD be in tomorrow. I hope so. This is killing me.
I am going to try and stay with my current company and telecommute part of the week and then go to our corporate office around 2 days a week. I am HOPING my boss agrees to it.
Otherwise? I am back on the market which I HATE! So wish me luck.
I actually feel a bit of relief knowing what is going to happen. I hated having everything up in the air.

But I am trying to keep an open mind on the move. I keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason.
Right?

Bean said WHAT? And a few other things

So I am terribly sorry for not posting the latest Bean ramblings on Friday. I have been so engrossed in hearing the final decision on if we stay or go. Reminds me of that song



Yeah you know it. So still no OFFICIAL word but Bud and I decided that if the offer comes through we will take it. So that means we will be staying home! So keep those fingers, toes, arms and eyes crossed. But don't blame me if your eyes get stuck that way.

Other update, my friend is still pretty sick. They have no idea why his heart is trying to fail. So they are running test after test. I really loathe the medical field some days. Please continue to pray for him.


So Bean. God that kid is a trip. Here are some of the latest happenings.

In the public bathroom

Bean: Mommy is someone else in here? (indicating to the stall next to us)

Me: Yes Buddy.

Bean: What are they doing? (bends over to look under the stall)

Me: The same thing you are now stop that and go pee.

Bean: (Starts peeing and hears the door open and while still peeing turns around)

Momma who is that?

Me: (thankfully jumped out of the way of the fire hose) Don't worry about it! PLEASE AIM IN THE TOILET!

Bean: (Smelling the person next to us) PHEW Momma did you poot?

Me: (embarrassed) um no honey.

Bean: Phew smells like a Daddy poot!

On the phone with my parents

(they were on the way to Europe no idea what was said on the other line)

Bean: Nana, you go on an airpwane?

Bean: Oh, is you pwane pink or blue?

Bean: Oh. You bwing me a present?

Bean: Bwing me a BEER!

(Me thinking WTH?)

Bean: Yes Nana a Beer.

(Me horrified that my parents will now think I give my kid a beer on a regular basis)

Bean: A fuzzy one.

(Me with ????????)

Me: Oh Mom he wants a BEAR.

Wishes can come true...

We MAY be staying put y'all.
Bud's work came through with a very generous promotion. And he is taking it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So pray that the funding is completely approved first.

I am so excited that we are going to stay here. No searching for a new job, no looking at daycares, no more northern VA!!!!
I am pretty stoked. But until I see him tonight I won't believe it.


Finally good news. I needed some.

Oh on a side note...I need a new blog design. I am BORED with mine!
So what do I do? I am not liking the ones on PYZAM much. They are pretty teenage like. So suggestions are welcome!

Wordless Wednesday: Snip snip

some of you may remember this cutie with a head full of curls.

Well now...it is short. NOT MY FAULT! I asked for a trim!!! Below is what I got!

Sniff...

Great, next I'll be finding hickies on his neck!

So yesterday I went to pick the Bean up from daycare. Totally normal day.
He spots me when I walk in the room and runs up to give me a hug. Next thing I know I see this hussy little girl running up to him.
"Bye Bean! See you tomorrow okay?" she said.
Before he could answer she hugged him tight and made out with him kissed his cheek (a little close to the mouth in my opinion!) and ran back to the kitchen area.
Bean looked up at me and grinned.
"That's my giwlfweind." he said proudly.

Oh lord. I was SHOCKED! SHOCKED that she would attack my baby like that in FRONT of me.
Shameless little hooch child.
I bet she lifts her skirt over her head all the time too.

A Thank you, a prayer needed and a question for you all

First let me say a big THANK YOU to all of you for your supportive words about my big move back to the north. It is so awesome to be involved in a blogging community and when things get rough I am reminded of this. It means a lot to have all of you supporting me.
MUAH!

I am getting more used to the idea and I know it's not the end of the world. Shoot- we could be a heck of a lot worse off right now, right? As my friend currently is...


Yes, one of my very good guy friends is in the hospital right now. He was admitted last night after his girlfriend (who happens to be my one of my best friends) took him to the ER. He has been having some issues lately and has had shortness of breath. Turns out that only 15%, yes you read that right 15%, of his heart is functioning. He is young (late 20's) and has never had heart issues before and is usually healthy!
He is in the ICU right now and it has been a tough day as I can't stop worrying about him. So prayers are needed and much appreciated. I'll update you all as I know more. Thanks!!!

Lastly, (whew busy day!!!) a question for you all. First a little background.
Okay so Bud and I spent the weekend at my BFF's house with Bean. We pulled the camper over there (she lives like 20 minutes away! we are SUCH campers) and hung out while Bud and the guys built a deck. (It turned out awesome!)
Well we got back to the IL's house last night around 4:00. After I showered and did a few things Bud asked if I wanted to grab some dinner up the road. Well we asked his mom if she could watch Bean and put him to bed around 8:30 if we weren't back. We bathed him and put him in his jammies and he was sitting on the couch watching Herbie while my MIL played Bingo (she is horribly addicted) on the computer next to him.
Well we ate a quick dinner and decided we were just too tired to stay out so we headed back. We were gone MAYBE 45 minutes. We walk in and Bean is SCREAMING upstairs (it was 7:45) and MIL was sitting at the computer bingoing (is that a word?) away.

We were like WTH?

She said he was not listening to her so she sent him to bed. We asked what he was doing and she said, "Aggravating the dog (my three legger - he and Bean play rough a lot but never a big deal) So Bud ran upstairs and got Bean and brought him downstairs. It was obvious he had NOT just gone up there due to his face being bright red and he was crying so hard he was hiccuping.
Bud was mad.
So was I.
But we never said anything. Why? Because we are DUMB!
MIL swore he had JUST gone up. Now remember this is the SAME MIL who lets Bean get away with murder. Now I get mad when she does that and while I want her to discipline him something was off by last nights activities. I mean when she gets in bingo mode NO ONE can disturb her. Bud and I think Bean was playing rough with the dog and that SHE did not want to have to keep checking to make sure things were okay (as she was bingoing and that is obviously more important) so she sent him to bed.

What do y'all think? Would you be pissed?

Pop!

First off no I am not pregnant. At least I am PRETTY sure I am not. I'll know for certain next week but it's doubtful since you have to have s*x right? To get knocked up? I think I'll Google it.

Anyways, I am not even sure where to begin. Yesterday I thought I was going to forgo Wordless Wednesday and give you super awesome news. But then my happy bubble was popped. Did you hear it? Yep it was pretty loud when it popped.

So after my bubble was popped (that sounds kinda wrong) I was put into an emotional funk. Thus my crappy post yesterday.

So what I WAS going to post yesterday was that I thought we were staying put here in my hometown!!! Yay right? Bud met with his current boss Tuesday and told him about our pickle. That we have a house we can't sell up north, a small amount of funds to rent a place here, and our sanity level decreasing as we continue to live with the in-laws.

His boss is pretty cool. And he loves Bud for some reason. So he offered to get Bud a raise. A VERY generous raise.

I was excited since it SEEMED like Bud was going to go with it. My happy bubble grew even though I tried to tell it not too.

Bud talked about being able to rent a place. I thought, "Yep we are staying put."

NOPE!

Bud decided after much thought (an entire night of sleep) that he FELT that we should go with our original plan of going back up north. That he had pulled a lot of strings to try to get back up there and that he didn't want to burn any bridges.

Also, he was afraid with getting a raise here that he would out price himself and that if something happened to the company he is with here that it would be difficult for him to get rehired for the same salary.

So my bubble popped. And I was pretty much in a funk. Deep down I KNEW he wouldn't take the offer. I just hoped my little bit of hope that maybe, just maybe he would.

So pardon me but I am going to go crawl in bed and eat my weight in Ben and Jerry's.

Wordless Wednesday: Beachy

Beach life is awesome

Oh and I know this is supposed to be shut the hell up day Wordless Wednesday but I wanted to warn you I have a major update in my life. But they'll have to wait until tomorrow. I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

Sorry.

Why?

Have you noticed you can't escape it? You walk outside and see it, you turn on the news and see it, you open a newspaper and see it, you turn on the radio and it's there, you walk into the grocery store and it's all over.
Bad news. Just all the time bad news.

• You drive down the road and see for sale signs at every other house.
• You dread going to the gas station because that car you drive that USED to take 22 bucks to fill now costs around 50 bucks to fill.
• Your weekly grocery run that used to cost about 120 is now almost 200 bucks. (And that was using coupons and buying chicken!)
• Your electric company just sent you a message that the rates will be going up about 17%.
• The water company also sent out a message that the water bills will be going up around 15%.

It's sad isn't it? I mean the whole gas deal is causing a domino effect of everything else. It starts at the pump, goes over to groceries and other goods, affects everything from our electric bill to our HAIRDRESSER (yeah the cost to get highlights went up) and you begin to wonder when you'll catch a break.

Meanwhile while the cost of your LIFE goes up your paycheck stays the same. It's almost like a nightmare. I hear on the news about how many people are forced to choose between filling up their car to buying FOOD for their kids.

I mean we are a world power. Here we are offering aid to everyone under the sun and our own citizens are unable to live.

Please someone tell me what is wrong with this picture?

And don't blame Bush. That man gets enough flack for the world's problems. I hope that soon I wake up from this and see that it was all a very bad dream.

Opinions? Weigh in.

What did you say?

Yes it's Friday and yes it is Bean funnies day!

Last week I know that all of you missed out on the latest and greatest conversations that I have with my Bean. Here they are!

On show and tell

Bean: Momma I have show and tell tomorrow.
Me: Awesome kiddo what are you going to bring to show?
Bean: Um I want to bwing Biscuit but Miss Shawon say no.
Me: Well Miss Sharon is right. Biscuit is a dog and he can't go to school.
Bean: Momma he WANTS to go but I will leave him here since he can't pee in the toilet.

On stinkiness
Bean: Momma what is that smell?
Me: No idea buddy.
Bean: Did somebody fart?
(we are in the grocery store)
Me: Um no.
Bean: You pooted didn't you mommy?
Thanks kid

On thirst
Bean: Momma can I have some drink?
Me: Sure kiddo.
Bean: Lemonade.
Me: Okay
Bean: Clean lemonade
As opposed to dirty lemonade?

Momma always said...

Remember when you were a little girl (those of you with va-jay-jays) and your momma always taught you to sit with your legs crossed when wearing a skirt or dress?

You do?

Me too!

Apparently not everyone has that memo from their momma.

I see more chicks splayed out with their legs OPEN for the world to see what God (and their momma) gave them. Um cross those honey, unless you are getting ready to birth a child or have sex then it is time to keep the shop closed.

And what is up with little girls pulling their dress over their head when embarrassed? A little girl did that at Beans school today. "She is shy..."her momma explained.

Yeah well I can be shy too but I'll be damned if in order to hide from the world that I put my skirt over my dang head. That will just get me in trouble.

I have him trained SO well

So when I was pregnant with Bean I always knew that I would teach him how to do certain things.

For instance, when he got undressed for the evening or dressed for the day I would show him that we DO NOT throw our clothes on the floor in a heap like Daddy. That we put them in the HAMPER! Amazing concept really.

Same thing with dishes, toys, etc.


Now Bud on the other hand. I have been trying for YEARS to train him. YEARS.

Yes everyday is the same. He comes home, dumps out his pocket of crap on the dresser or kitchen counter. The "crap" consists of change, gum wrappers, receipts and so forth.

Then he proceeds to undress as he walks into the bedroom. Shoes, socks, shirt and pants. Then he changes into shorts or whatever.
Later if he eats food I can bet the dish will be in the sink waiting for me.

Why is that?

At least I know that one day when my Bean gets married that hopefully his wife will appreciate the fact that I taught him how to do simple tasks that drive many women mad.

How about you? Does your hubby create chaos?

Surgery update

First thank you ALL for the well wishes. It means so much!

Bean did AWESOME! We got to the surgery around 6 a.m. (ick) and we went back to the room around 6:30ish. I love the ENT doc I found. He is a sweetheart!
Anyways, they came in and explained everything to me and then next thing I knew he was back in the operation room.
The whole procedure took about 15 minutes.
When Bean came out of surgery he was SCREAMING. Apparently kids have an very emotional reaction to the anesthesia. The nurse warned us about this beforehand.
So they gave him something in his I.V. and poof all was well in the world. (I totally need some of whatever he had!)

So we left there around 9:00 and have been laying around all day.
He is eating like a champ. He had 2 bowls of ice cream, a bowl of oatmeal, some rice, a Popsicle, and lots of ginger ale.
So we are heading up to the old house this weekend but I will try to post.

I need to catch up on everyone's stuff!

Two things

Okay a few things. First my loving Hyphen Mama gave me an award. It's cause she loves me SO much! I love you too!!!!

So I guess I need to spread the love. So here ya go:

Catwoman, AFF, Lori, and Colleen. For you!!!

Also, Colleen is hosting a fundraiser for the flood victims in the MidWest. Go check it out.

YES GO! DO IT!

Wordless Wednesday: My poor baby

So tomorrow my baby is getting surgery. His adenoids are enlarged. I am a wreck of course!!!

I will post updates after the surgery.

Monday Madness: Little of this and a little of that

So welcome to my MADNESS!

First things first:

I have figured out how to do Google analytics. Thanks to all that helped my untechy (is this a word? It is now!!!) self figure it out.

So some searches that brought sickos to my site:



1.ugh the places we'll go - I guess someone was looking for the book. Sorry you got me!
2."boys love to be naked"- um sick. Okay just sick
3. "me bean"- as oppossed to you bean?
4."mommy i have to pee and poo" - well why are you googling it? GO!!!
5.12 year old nakey girls- Again SICK and I have never wrote that!!!
6. 3year kidssex - AGAIN SICK!!!!!!!!
7. do you have to pee on the floor - no you have pee on the table. DUH!
8.how to get a job soon? - um you tell me?
9. i seriously have to pee - geez what is it with people googling pee? Just go!!!
10 . I want forget my sexy life - I hope I helped you with that.


So now that I have been tuned in to all the sickos that walk amongst me I can sleep better at night.
Right.

Anyways in other news - it looks like my mission has failed. We will not be staying in the area after all. Bud and I tried to list our house but the highest price we can list at due to assessment and local sales right now is, are you ready for this? - 100,000 LESS THAN WE OWE.

So if we happened to sell we would owe 100,000 bucks. THIS ECONOMY SUCKS!!!

If we had sold during peak time we would have made around 150 -200K.
We can't even RENT it for HALF of our mortgage. It is just sick. So Bud and I talked and I decided to be an adult and not flip out like I did last time this came up.
So we made a deal. Bud will move before me. He will fix the issues I had with the house, (stinky water, remodel the kitchen, and a few other things) and I will stay here since I have been through 2 remodels in 4 years. I just can't do it again!!

So we will see where this takes us. I am not excited about this move but I am dealing with it. Oh and I told Bud since we are moving that I will require a massage (by a professional not his 5 minute lets get it on massage) monthly. And a clothing allowance. And pedis.
Like I said before I am totally being adult about this.

Friday funnies: Bean

Okay it's Friday again!!! WOOP WOOP!!!

And I have some funny Bean sayings just.for.you! Oh yes you right there!


Here we go!


In Wal-mart

We were walking by women's bathing suits.

Bean: Mommy wook! Boobies!
Me: Bean shhh those are bathing suits.
Bean: Momma no they are boobies. You want some?
Me: Oh God.

In 7-11

Me: Bean come on and get your slurpee.
(An older man was next to us getting one)
Bean: Momma what is that man doing? (pointing at the guy!)
Me: Um, getting a slurpee! (akward...)
Bean: No Momma he is too OLD for a slurpee.
Me: (slinking away)

On going potty

Bean: Momma I have to poop.
Me: Okay Bean go poop.
Bean: Momma you have to come and see it.
Me: Bean I will wipe you after but NO I don't want to see it.
Bean: But momma I make it. It's so cute.

Thursday Thirteen: What I have learned since High School

Since today is the anniversary of my high school graduation I thought I would do my thirteen about things that I have learned since then.

1. Those yearbooks that you slaved over trying to get everyone in the world to sign? And then treasured like a fool for weeks after school? Guess what? You don't even know where they are now, and you don't care.

2. That guy you mooned over for years in high school - you know the one that ALL of the girls thought was SO HOT? Guess where he is now? No, not in Hollywood or somewhere glamorous. He is working for an AC company. As a helper. Oh and he still lives at home.

3. Most of the time - the career you aspired for in high school? The big dream? It most likely will never happen. Why? Because when you started down that path you realized it was a little tougher than you thought. BUT - you do discover that the one thing you never thought about doing? Will become your new love.

4. The stuff you worried about back then - who is so and so going out with? Does he like me? Are they talking about me? Behind my back? Will become so silly as you grow older you'll shake your head at yourself for ever allowing yourself to waste a minute on that stuff.

5. As you get older gossip becomes more interesting - and life altering. It's not kids play anymore.

6. Most of the stuff you learn in high school you forget - unless it has something to do with your job or you actually care about it enough to keep learning it.

7. The clothes you wore? The oh so cute little duds you sported down the halls? Yeah when you get older and see the younger generation wearing that you will begin to understand why your parents freaked out over that stuff.

8. I discovered that all of the time I wished away, getting my license, going to prom, graduating and so forth is time that I will wish back for everyday.

9. I know now that the girls that I thought I would see and hang out with forever disappeared after graduation. Only the true ones stick by you through life.

10. I learned that they stuff I thought was so boring to talk about when a teenager ( politics, economy, decorating!) is now an interesting and important thing to know.

11. I learned that being with my friends although not the most important thing in the world then, is kind of important now. I will always have those memories.

12. I am glad my parents made me go to college. I know if I hadn't gone after high school I would have never gone.

13. The biggest thing I learned: high school was not hard. Many days I sat up thinking that high school was SO hard and WHY did I have to do ALL of this work. Now I look back and know that was the easy part of life. It gets much more difficult.

#2??????

Okay not that #2! I mean yeah we are still in the early days of being toilet trained but no this post is not about poop.





Lucky for you.





No this post is about how do you know your ready for kid #2?


Do you just wake up one day and decide, "Gee I think I'll throw out that pack of birth control pills and see if I get lucky this month hubby's swimmers?



Or is it a slower decision one that you ponder for days, weeks, months even trying to decide if the stars have aligned and that you are now ready to bring another screaming child into the world?



I have had this inner debate with myself for months. Do I want more children?

Am I satisfied with one? Do I only want another child because I feel it is the "normal" thing to do? It seems as though having just one child is often a cliche thing that people think there should be an even number of kids.

Am I scared to have another child? Do I think I'll get sick again? Will Bean be sad about having another kid around?

So readers tell me, when did you know it was time for #2? How did you come to that decision? Was it planned or did you throw caution to the wind?

Note: Let me add that until our house is sold (which may NEVER happen!!) that we will still religously use birth control!!!

I am not an old prude...

Okay so will someone please help me out here? Why is it that when we women are not in the "mood" we are suddenly treated as though we are an alien by the husband?
Not that I am a s*x freak or anything. Never have been. But here is what happened last night:

My hubby's younger brother left for boot camp. The whole family was emotional. That in itself is a mood killer, (although I must admit I am super proud of him and really wasn't sad).

Anywho, then it was hotter than a fat ladies crotch outside (we are having a heat wave here!) and I spent the few hours of daylight after I got home in the pool with Bean.

Then we ate dinner, cleaned up from dinner, I gave Bean a bath, and got him to bed.

Husband comes upstairs and says he is going to bed. Fine whatever. I was wide awake and not able to go to sleep at that time.

So I browse the net, realize I have to clean out the dogs ears ( the little one has an infection).
Then I remembered to put on my wart cream (I had a nasty little one on my toe frozen yesterday) and placed duct tape, yes duct tape that's what the doc said, on my toe and waddled upstairs.

I put on my comfy jammies, took some Aleve since Flo will be arriving any hour and took my butt to bed.

Husband rolls over trying to get some.

Um, hello??????? I am WHOOPED! I just stuck my hand in our dogs nasty ear, I put CREAM and DUCT tape on my wart, I have cramps and you want some?

Kiss my grits.

Summertime and the livins easy...

Me and Bud

Or at least that used to be my motto.

I remember as a child the hot days that lasted forever, playing on the slip-n-slide, eating Popsicles that melted down my arm.

I remember the SENSES of summer. The heat of the midday sun, the smell of the sunscreen my mom slathered on me, the feel of the beach in between my toes, the sound of the waves crashing on the beach, the buzzing of flies next to my ear, and the comforting coolness of my bedsheets when I finally crashed for the night.

As I grew older my ideas of summer fun changed.

Man, I can remember the teenage and young adult carefree days of summer:mornings spent lounging in bed, laying on the beach for hours uninterrupted, nights that lasted until morning.

Again, things have changed a lot since then.

There are no more days lounging on beach chairs. My night are spent asleep, and the sounds I hear consist of:

"MOMMY, LOOK!"

"MOMMY, COME HERE!"

"MOMMY LOOK I FWIMMIN!"

Even though things have changed since my younger years my senses still bring me back. The sunscreen smell brings back memories as I lather it on my own child, the stickiness of Popsicles is still there but now it's on Bean.

It's funny how things change. But to be honest - I wouldn't trade my new summer days for anything.

Bean Funnies

Ah my Bean. That kid will keep me young for sure. At least in spirit. He may make me laugh so much that I am a wrinkled mess.

Latest sayings:

On Swimming

Bean: Momma I go fwimmin!
Me: Yes baby you go SWIMMING.
Bean: No Momma I FWIM, okay I told you before.

On family
(they are working in school at recognizing groups of people such as families)

Me: Bean who is in your family?
Bean: Momma, Bean, Daddy, and Biscuit.
Me: Bean what about Buckaroo?
Bean: Oh yeah him too.

On work

Bean: You go to work today Momma.
Me: Yes baby I'm going to work now.
Bean: I go to school and you go to work. Make 2 dollars today okay mom?
Gee I hope I'll make more than 2 bucks!!!

On sex

Bean: Momma, why did your pee pee fall off?
Me: Bean I was made that way. Girls are different then boys.
Bean: Oh. You really need to get one.
Me: Get what?
Bean: A pee pee like mine. Then you can pee standing up.


Gotta love it.
Oh and on a side note - swimming is still going well. That kid conks out at 8 and we don't see him the next day until close to 8am. LOVE THAT POOL!

Oh the places we'll go

I got tagged by Danielle from New Mommy Rant .


Eight Things For Which I Have A Passion For:
1. My Family- I have to agree with you here Danielle.
2. My friends - in particular my girl friends. It is SO important to have those people in your life.
3. Animals - I have always loved animals of all shapes and sizes. If I could live in a zoo I would. Well I kind of do.
4. History - It was my major and I love it!!!
5. Reading - I used to read a book a day. Before I had Bean
6. Shopping - Ugh if I had an endless bank account I would do this.all.day.long. LOVE IT!
7. Traveling - I love to see and experience new places.
8. FOOTBALL!!! WOOHOO!!

Eight Things I'd Like to do Before I Die:
1. Travel to every continent
2. See Bean graduate from college, get married and have my grandbabies!!!!
3. Swim with dolphins
4. Touch an elephant
5. Sky dive
6. Sail on a boat from VA to FL and back
7. Open my no-kill animal shelter
8. Write a novel.

Eight Things I Say a Lot:
1. No way!
2. Freak
3. NO!!!!!
4. Do you need my help? (To Bean)
5. Who has to go outside and weewee! (the dogs!!!)
6. Where you at?
7. Whatever
8. Good job kiddo!!!

Eight Books I Have Read Recently:
1. Curious George
2. The Other Boelyn Girl
3. Salem Falls
4. 19 Minutes
5. Cat in the Hat
6. Mercy
7. My sisters Keeper
8. I STINK! (Garbage truck book)



Eight Movies I Have Seen Eight Times:

1. Steel Magnolias
2. 13 going on 30
3. Sweet Home Alabama
4. Cars
5. Finding Nemo
6. How to Lose a Guy in 10 days
7. Meet me in St. Louis
8. Curious George

Eight People Who Should, but are in no way obligated, Do This Meme:
1. Hyphen Mama
2. Someone being me
3. Oh Mommy!
4. Tranny Head
5. Keri
6. Burgh Baby
7. Zoe
8. Colleen


On a side note - Bean is swimming. I'll post a pic tomorrow. Let me tell you this is a HUGE improvement from last year. Last year you would have thought I was KILLIN the kid if I sat him on the steps of the pool. Now he hops in there (with a life vest) and kicks as hard as he can and moves about an inch an hour.
Tires him out nicely.

But where is the rum?

Okay so this weekend led me to having several random thoughts in my head. Please bare with me I am under caffinated (is that a term? Well it is now) and this leads me to write like a drunk.
I swear I am not drunk, at least not right now.


1. Why does my child still want to repeat a request over and over again? Like, "Mommy I want some milk....MOMMY I want some milk, MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYY I want some MILK...." and they keep this up until the said item is in their hand? Please tell me they grow out of this? Please...

2. Husbands need to have their hearing checked. I know my husband has selective hearing towards me. He always has. It's like my voice is on and his ears mute it. Unless I am offering sex, beer or nachos he hears nothing.
So imagine my surprise when I discovered that this past weekend he has toddler selective hearing as well. Bean kept calling, "Daddy, Daddy, OH DADDY" over and over again until I flipped out and told Bud to, "Answer him!!!"


3. Bean loves to brush my hair lately. I thought it would be oh so nice and relaxing. Um no. Basically he yanks out my hair by the root and tells me it looks, "oh so pretty." It's cool kid my head isn't bleeding hard.


5. Why do the old Disney movies have such LONG intros? I mean come on! When I am driving down the road and pop in a DVD to keep the kid happy and he is crying that the music is still on is unnerving.
So Disney if you read this when you remake the movies cut that out. Kids today have no patience to sit through that.

6. Have you noticed that when a guy does something, no matter how small, like wash a dish, he has to tell you about it? Like he needs a reward.
Um okay honey want to hear what I did today? Um, washed the kid, dressed him, did 2 loads of laundry, folded them, put them away, cleaned the bathroom, dusted, washed the dog and went to work. Where is MY REWARD????

7.Does anyne else cry when they fill up their cars? I do.


Oh and anyone that can tell me where to find out my search terms that people enter to get my blog I would appreciate it. Speak slowly when you tell me, I am not technically savvy like the hubby.

Bean said what?

So I am a rebel and decided to make Friday blogs Bean funny blogs.
Yeah I know call the police! I am K-ARA-ZY!
So as most of us with toddlers or who one had a toddler knows they say some of the craziest damn things.
Bean is no exception to this rule.
I have noticed as he gets older what he says makes more sense. But then sometimes it still comes out as some strange sounding ChiJapaish jumbo that I just can not comprehend.

This frustrates me.

For example the other day he is getting dressed. Some days he'll do it. Other days he acts like an old man with Alzheimers and makes me do it.
Well he came running up to me and asked where his blocks were. I was busy doing something and was like, "Kid, they are in your room."
"No Mommy, my blocks were are they?"
"Kiddo in your ROOM." Great I thought he'll be just like his dad and ask me where the scissors are when he CLEARLY knows they are in the same drawer they have been in the past 4 years. I mean how hard is it to REMEMBER where they are when they have not moved in four years!!!
Ahem moving on.

"MOMMY MY BLOCKS!!!" clearly Bean was getting frustrated now as well.

I was confused. So I sat and thought what was making him so upset. While I stood there with a look of pure confusion Bean decided to take it to the next level and threw himself on the ground and became a screaming, crying mess.

Oye.

Ding the light came on when I saw his naked feet.

"Oh your SOCKS!" I said.

"Uh-huh" he said sniffling a large amount of snot up his nose.

Ew.

"Here kiddo" I gave him his blocks er socks.

And all was well with the world.

Now if it had been Bud that situation would have been much different. first if I had been home Bud would have yelled for me to see, "what the heck is the matter with this kid."
Or if I was out on a rare instance ALONE and not at work then Bud would have simply scooped Bean up, taken him to the car, and driven to get an ice cream cone.

And I bet he would have never noticed the bare feet.

I'm alive and behind

Sorry folks. I apparently decided to drop off the face of the earth for a few days!
Anyways we went to my parents for the holiday. That was an experience. No my mom was not crazy as she usually is but we had a bit of drama.

We were about 30 minutes away from my parents when my mom called my cell. I figured she was calling to complain that she was cooking dinner.

Nope.

She was crying and obviously shaken. "We had a fire, " she said. "Oh my GOD! Are you okay? What happened?" I asked.
Well apparently my dad had been on the deck and he had just gotten a new propane tank filled. Well he wanted to get the grill cleaned off and going so that we could cook out that night.
So he lit 2 burners and turned them on low. Well for some reason the flames were just not responding so he pulled the tank out slightly and shook it a little to release air (Note to self: NEVER do that!).
Well when he shook it something happened. We are still unsure as to what.
But the tank acted as a blow torch and created a fireball. My dad yelled for my mom to call 911 and he grabbed the fire extinguisher.
Somehow all of their neighbors found out and all came running with fire extinguishers. My dad remained on the deck and was burned. My parents have a large (10 foot) glass slider that exploded into their eating area.
Their deck is ruined, the downstairs area was full of smoke, and my dad was burned. From a stupid grill.
So we got to the house as quickly as we could and I ended up following the ambulance that had my dad to the ER.
Bud stayed to help assess the damage.
My dad suffered 1st degree burns to his legs, arms and face. He had a few second degree burns on his hands.
It could have been SO much worse.

Bud later called me and said that they had cleaned the glass up from the door and placed plywood over the opening to protect the house until the insurance company showed up.
they have a fire cleaning crew there now. It will take a long time to clean up. Of course it doesn't help that my parents house is huge (almost 5000 square feet) and my mom has knick knacks everywhere.
And there is ash EVERYWHERE.

Needless to say it was an eye opening weekend. I am so glad my parents are okay. the house stuff can be replaced. They can't.
We know of a house up there that had a propane tank explode (no one was home) and the entire house was gone. Just exploded.
So please for all of you - never allow the little ones ANYWHERE near the grill when lit. They are just so unsafe. It gives me chills to think of Bean being on the deck when that thing exploded.




I do have some good news in light of all of this.

We are listing our house. Yep next week. We worked on a few details this past weekend. So say some good thoughts for me! I hope that bad boy sells.