Monday, June 30, 2008


Have you noticed you can't escape it? You walk outside and see it, you turn on the news and see it, you open a newspaper and see it, you turn on the radio and it's there, you walk into the grocery store and it's all over.
Bad news. Just all the time bad news.

  • You drive down the road and see for sale signs at every other house.
  • You dread going to the gas station because that car you drive that USED to take 22 bucks to fill now costs around 50 bucks to fill.
  • Your weekly grocery run that used to cost about 120 is now almost 200 bucks. (And that was using coupons and buying chicken!)
  • Your electric company just sent you a message that the rates will be going up about 17%.
  • The water company also sent out a message that the water bills will be going up around 15%.

It's sad isn't it? I mean the whole gas deal is causing a domino effect of everything else. It starts at the pump, goes over to groceries and other goods, affects everything from our electric bill to our HAIRDRESSER (yeah the cost to get highlights went up) and you begin to wonder when you'll catch a break.

Meanwhile while the cost of your LIFE goes up your paycheck stays the same. It's almost like a nightmare. I hear on the news about how many people are forced to choose between filling up their car to buying FOOD for their kids.

I mean we are a world power. Here we are offering aid to everyone under the sun and our own citizens are unable to live.

Please someone tell me what is wrong with this picture?

And don't blame Bush. That man gets enough flack for the world's problems. I hope that soon I wake up from this and see that it was all a very bad dream.

Opinions? Weigh in.

Friday, June 27, 2008

What did you say?

Yes it's Friday and yes it is Bean funnies day!

Last week I know that all of you missed out on the latest and greatest conversations that I have with my Bean. Here they are!

On show and tell

Bean: Momma I have show and tell tomorrow.
Me: Awesome kiddo what are you going to bring to show?
Bean: Um I want to bwing Biscuit but Miss Shawon say no.
Me: Well Miss Sharon is right. Biscuit is a dog and he can't go to school.
Bean: Momma he WANTS to go but I will leave him here since he can't pee in the toilet.

On stinkiness
Bean: Momma what is that smell?
Me: No idea buddy.
Bean: Did somebody fart?
(we are in the grocery store)
Me: Um no.
Bean: You pooted didn't you mommy?
Thanks kid

On thirst
Bean: Momma can I have some drink?
Me: Sure kiddo.
Bean: Lemonade.
Me: Okay
Bean: Clean lemonade
As opposed to dirty lemonade?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Momma always said...

Remember when you were a little girl (those of you with va-jay-jays) and your momma always taught you to sit with your legs crossed when wearing a skirt or dress?

You do?

Me too!

Apparently not everyone has that memo from their momma.

I see more chicks splayed out with their legs OPEN for the world to see what God (and their momma) gave them. Um cross those honey, unless you are getting ready to birth a child or have sex then it is time to keep the shop closed.

And what is up with little girls pulling their dress over their head when embarrassed? A little girl did that at Beans school today. "She is shy..."her momma explained.

Yeah well I can be shy too but I'll be damned if in order to hide from the world that I put my skirt over my dang head. That will just get me in trouble.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I have him trained SO well

So when I was pregnant with Bean I always knew that I would teach him how to do certain things.

For instance, when he got undressed for the evening or dressed for the day I would show him that we DO NOT throw our clothes on the floor in a heap like Daddy. That we put them in the HAMPER! Amazing concept really.

Same thing with dishes, toys, etc.

Now Bud on the other hand. I have been trying for YEARS to train him. YEARS.

Yes everyday is the same. He comes home, dumps out his pocket of crap on the dresser or kitchen counter. The "crap" consists of change, gum wrappers, receipts and so forth.

Then he proceeds to undress as he walks into the bedroom. Shoes, socks, shirt and pants. Then he changes into shorts or whatever.
Later if he eats food I can bet the dish will be in the sink waiting for me.

Why is that?

At least I know that one day when my Bean gets married that hopefully his wife will appreciate the fact that I taught him how to do simple tasks that drive many women mad.

How about you? Does your hubby create chaos?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Surgery update

First thank you ALL for the well wishes. It means so much!

Bean did AWESOME! We got to the surgery around 6 a.m. (ick) and we went back to the room around 6:30ish. I love the ENT doc I found. He is a sweetheart!
Anyways, they came in and explained everything to me and then next thing I knew he was back in the operation room.
The whole procedure took about 15 minutes.
When Bean came out of surgery he was SCREAMING. Apparently kids have an very emotional reaction to the anesthesia. The nurse warned us about this beforehand.
So they gave him something in his I.V. and poof all was well in the world. (I totally need some of whatever he had!)

So we left there around 9:00 and have been laying around all day.
He is eating like a champ. He had 2 bowls of ice cream, a bowl of oatmeal, some rice, a Popsicle, and lots of ginger ale.
So we are heading up to the old house this weekend but I will try to post.

I need to catch up on everyone's stuff!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Two things

Okay a few things. First my loving Hyphen Mama gave me an award. It's cause she loves me SO much! I love you too!!!!

So I guess I need to spread the love. So here ya go:

Catwoman, AFF, Lori, and Colleen. For you!!!

Also, Colleen is hosting a fundraiser for the flood victims in the MidWest. Go check it out.


Wordless Wednesday: My poor baby

So tomorrow my baby is getting surgery. His adenoids are enlarged. I am a wreck of course!!!

I will post updates after the surgery.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Monday Madness: Little of this and a little of that

So welcome to my MADNESS!

First things first:

I have figured out how to do Google analytics. Thanks to all that helped my untechy (is this a word? It is now!!!) self figure it out.

So some searches that brought sickos to my site:

1.ugh the places we'll go - I guess someone was looking for the book. Sorry you got me!
2."boys love to be naked"- um sick. Okay just sick
3. "me bean"- as oppossed to you bean?
4."mommy i have to pee and poo" - well why are you googling it? GO!!!
5.12 year old nakey girls- Again SICK and I have never wrote that!!!
6. 3year kidssex - AGAIN SICK!!!!!!!!
7. do you have to pee on the floor - no you have pee on the table. DUH! to get a job soon? - um you tell me?
9. i seriously have to pee - geez what is it with people googling pee? Just go!!!
10 . I want forget my sexy life - I hope I helped you with that.

So now that I have been tuned in to all the sickos that walk amongst me I can sleep better at night.

Anyways in other news - it looks like my mission has failed. We will not be staying in the area after all. Bud and I tried to list our house but the highest price we can list at due to assessment and local sales right now is, are you ready for this? - 100,000 LESS THAN WE OWE.

So if we happened to sell we would owe 100,000 bucks. THIS ECONOMY SUCKS!!!

If we had sold during peak time we would have made around 150 -200K.
We can't even RENT it for HALF of our mortgage. It is just sick. So Bud and I talked and I decided to be an adult and not flip out like I did last time this came up.
So we made a deal. Bud will move before me. He will fix the issues I had with the house, (stinky water, remodel the kitchen, and a few other things) and I will stay here since I have been through 2 remodels in 4 years. I just can't do it again!!

So we will see where this takes us. I am not excited about this move but I am dealing with it. Oh and I told Bud since we are moving that I will require a massage (by a professional not his 5 minute lets get it on massage) monthly. And a clothing allowance. And pedis.
Like I said before I am totally being adult about this.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Friday funnies: Bean

Okay it's Friday again!!! WOOP WOOP!!!

And I have some funny Bean sayings! Oh yes you right there!

Here we go!

In Wal-mart

We were walking by women's bathing suits.

Bean: Mommy wook! Boobies!
Me: Bean shhh those are bathing suits.
Bean: Momma no they are boobies. You want some?
Me: Oh God.

In 7-11

Me: Bean come on and get your slurpee.
(An older man was next to us getting one)
Bean: Momma what is that man doing? (pointing at the guy!)
Me: Um, getting a slurpee! (akward...)
Bean: No Momma he is too OLD for a slurpee.
Me: (slinking away)

On going potty

Bean: Momma I have to poop.
Me: Okay Bean go poop.
Bean: Momma you have to come and see it.
Me: Bean I will wipe you after but NO I don't want to see it.
Bean: But momma I make it. It's so cute.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Thursday Thirteen: What I have learned since High School

Since today is the anniversary of my high school graduation I thought I would do my thirteen about things that I have learned since then.

1. Those yearbooks that you slaved over trying to get everyone in the world to sign? And then treasured like a fool for weeks after school? Guess what? You don't even know where they are now, and you don't care.

2. That guy you mooned over for years in high school - you know the one that ALL of the girls thought was SO HOT? Guess where he is now? No, not in Hollywood or somewhere glamorous. He is working for an AC company. As a helper. Oh and he still lives at home.

3. Most of the time - the career you aspired for in high school? The big dream? It most likely will never happen. Why? Because when you started down that path you realized it was a little tougher than you thought. BUT - you do discover that the one thing you never thought about doing? Will become your new love.

4. The stuff you worried about back then - who is so and so going out with? Does he like me? Are they talking about me? Behind my back? Will become so silly as you grow older you'll shake your head at yourself for ever allowing yourself to waste a minute on that stuff.

5. As you get older gossip becomes more interesting - and life altering. It's not kids play anymore.

6. Most of the stuff you learn in high school you forget - unless it has something to do with your job or you actually care about it enough to keep learning it.

7. The clothes you wore? The oh so cute little duds you sported down the halls? Yeah when you get older and see the younger generation wearing that you will begin to understand why your parents freaked out over that stuff.

8. I discovered that all of the time I wished away, getting my license, going to prom, graduating and so forth is time that I will wish back for everyday.

9. I know now that the girls that I thought I would see and hang out with forever disappeared after graduation. Only the true ones stick by you through life.

10. I learned that they stuff I thought was so boring to talk about when a teenager ( politics, economy, decorating!) is now an interesting and important thing to know.

11. I learned that being with my friends although not the most important thing in the world then, is kind of important now. I will always have those memories.

12. I am glad my parents made me go to college. I know if I hadn't gone after high school I would have never gone.

13. The biggest thing I learned: high school was not hard. Many days I sat up thinking that high school was SO hard and WHY did I have to do ALL of this work. Now I look back and know that was the easy part of life. It gets much more difficult.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


Okay not that #2! I mean yeah we are still in the early days of being toilet trained but no this post is not about poop.

Lucky for you.

No this post is about how do you know your ready for kid #2?

Do you just wake up one day and decide, "Gee I think I'll throw out that pack of birth control pills and see if I get lucky this month hubby's swimmers?

Or is it a slower decision one that you ponder for days, weeks, months even trying to decide if the stars have aligned and that you are now ready to bring another screaming child into the world?

I have had this inner debate with myself for months. Do I want more children?

Am I satisfied with one? Do I only want another child because I feel it is the "normal" thing to do? It seems as though having just one child is often a cliche thing that people think there should be an even number of kids.

Am I scared to have another child? Do I think I'll get sick again? Will Bean be sad about having another kid around?

So readers tell me, when did you know it was time for #2? How did you come to that decision? Was it planned or did you throw caution to the wind?

Note: Let me add that until our house is sold (which may NEVER happen!!) that we will still religously use birth control!!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I am not an old prude...

Okay so will someone please help me out here? Why is it that when we women are not in the "mood" we are suddenly treated as though we are an alien by the husband?
Not that I am a s*x freak or anything. Never have been. But here is what happened last night:

My hubby's younger brother left for boot camp. The whole family was emotional. That in itself is a mood killer, (although I must admit I am super proud of him and really wasn't sad).

Anywho, then it was hotter than a fat ladies crotch outside (we are having a heat wave here!) and I spent the few hours of daylight after I got home in the pool with Bean.

Then we ate dinner, cleaned up from dinner, I gave Bean a bath, and got him to bed.

Husband comes upstairs and says he is going to bed. Fine whatever. I was wide awake and not able to go to sleep at that time.

So I browse the net, realize I have to clean out the dogs ears ( the little one has an infection).
Then I remembered to put on my wart cream (I had a nasty little one on my toe frozen yesterday) and placed duct tape, yes duct tape that's what the doc said, on my toe and waddled upstairs.

I put on my comfy jammies, took some Aleve since Flo will be arriving any hour and took my butt to bed.

Husband rolls over trying to get some.

Um, hello??????? I am WHOOPED! I just stuck my hand in our dogs nasty ear, I put CREAM and DUCT tape on my wart, I have cramps and you want some?

Kiss my grits.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Summertime and the livins easy...

Me and Bud

Or at least that used to be my motto.

I remember as a child the hot days that lasted forever, playing on the slip-n-slide, eating Popsicles that melted down my arm.

I remember the SENSES of summer. The heat of the midday sun, the smell of the sunscreen my mom slathered on me, the feel of the beach in between my toes, the sound of the waves crashing on the beach, the buzzing of flies next to my ear, and the comforting coolness of my bedsheets when I finally crashed for the night.

As I grew older my ideas of summer fun changed.

Man, I can remember the teenage and young adult carefree days of summer:mornings spent lounging in bed, laying on the beach for hours uninterrupted, nights that lasted until morning.

Again, things have changed a lot since then.

There are no more days lounging on beach chairs. My night are spent asleep, and the sounds I hear consist of:




Even though things have changed since my younger years my senses still bring me back. The sunscreen smell brings back memories as I lather it on my own child, the stickiness of Popsicles is still there but now it's on Bean.

It's funny how things change. But to be honest - I wouldn't trade my new summer days for anything.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Bean Funnies

Ah my Bean. That kid will keep me young for sure. At least in spirit. He may make me laugh so much that I am a wrinkled mess.

Latest sayings:

On Swimming

Bean: Momma I go fwimmin!
Me: Yes baby you go SWIMMING.
Bean: No Momma I FWIM, okay I told you before.

On family
(they are working in school at recognizing groups of people such as families)

Me: Bean who is in your family?
Bean: Momma, Bean, Daddy, and Biscuit.
Me: Bean what about Buckaroo?
Bean: Oh yeah him too.

On work

Bean: You go to work today Momma.
Me: Yes baby I'm going to work now.
Bean: I go to school and you go to work. Make 2 dollars today okay mom?
Gee I hope I'll make more than 2 bucks!!!

On sex

Bean: Momma, why did your pee pee fall off?
Me: Bean I was made that way. Girls are different then boys.
Bean: Oh. You really need to get one.
Me: Get what?
Bean: A pee pee like mine. Then you can pee standing up.

Gotta love it.
Oh and on a side note - swimming is still going well. That kid conks out at 8 and we don't see him the next day until close to 8am. LOVE THAT POOL!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Oh the places we'll go

I got tagged by Danielle from New Mommy Rant .

Eight Things For Which I Have A Passion For:
1. My Family- I have to agree with you here Danielle.
2. My friends - in particular my girl friends. It is SO important to have those people in your life.
3. Animals - I have always loved animals of all shapes and sizes. If I could live in a zoo I would. Well I kind of do.
4. History - It was my major and I love it!!!
5. Reading - I used to read a book a day. Before I had Bean
6. Shopping - Ugh if I had an endless bank account I would do LOVE IT!
7. Traveling - I love to see and experience new places.

Eight Things I'd Like to do Before I Die:
1. Travel to every continent
2. See Bean graduate from college, get married and have my grandbabies!!!!
3. Swim with dolphins
4. Touch an elephant
5. Sky dive
6. Sail on a boat from VA to FL and back
7. Open my no-kill animal shelter
8. Write a novel.

Eight Things I Say a Lot:
1. No way!
2. Freak
3. NO!!!!!
4. Do you need my help? (To Bean)
5. Who has to go outside and weewee! (the dogs!!!)
6. Where you at?
7. Whatever
8. Good job kiddo!!!

Eight Books I Have Read Recently:
1. Curious George
2. The Other Boelyn Girl
3. Salem Falls
4. 19 Minutes
5. Cat in the Hat
6. Mercy
7. My sisters Keeper
8. I STINK! (Garbage truck book)

Eight Movies I Have Seen Eight Times:

1. Steel Magnolias
2. 13 going on 30
3. Sweet Home Alabama
4. Cars
5. Finding Nemo
6. How to Lose a Guy in 10 days
7. Meet me in St. Louis
8. Curious George

Eight People Who Should, but are in no way obligated, Do This Meme:
1. Hyphen Mama
2. Someone being me
3. Oh Mommy!
4. Tranny Head
5. Keri
6. Burgh Baby
7. Zoe
8. Colleen

On a side note - Bean is swimming. I'll post a pic tomorrow. Let me tell you this is a HUGE improvement from last year. Last year you would have thought I was KILLIN the kid if I sat him on the steps of the pool. Now he hops in there (with a life vest) and kicks as hard as he can and moves about an inch an hour.
Tires him out nicely.

Monday, June 2, 2008

But where is the rum?

Okay so this weekend led me to having several random thoughts in my head. Please bare with me I am under caffinated (is that a term? Well it is now) and this leads me to write like a drunk.
I swear I am not drunk, at least not right now.

1. Why does my child still want to repeat a request over and over again? Like, "Mommy I want some milk....MOMMY I want some milk, MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYY I want some MILK...." and they keep this up until the said item is in their hand? Please tell me they grow out of this? Please...

2. Husbands need to have their hearing checked. I know my husband has selective hearing towards me. He always has. It's like my voice is on and his ears mute it. Unless I am offering sex, beer or nachos he hears nothing.
So imagine my surprise when I discovered that this past weekend he has toddler selective hearing as well. Bean kept calling, "Daddy, Daddy, OH DADDY" over and over again until I flipped out and told Bud to, "Answer him!!!"

3. Bean loves to brush my hair lately. I thought it would be oh so nice and relaxing. Um no. Basically he yanks out my hair by the root and tells me it looks, "oh so pretty." It's cool kid my head isn't bleeding hard.

5. Why do the old Disney movies have such LONG intros? I mean come on! When I am driving down the road and pop in a DVD to keep the kid happy and he is crying that the music is still on is unnerving.
So Disney if you read this when you remake the movies cut that out. Kids today have no patience to sit through that.

6. Have you noticed that when a guy does something, no matter how small, like wash a dish, he has to tell you about it? Like he needs a reward.
Um okay honey want to hear what I did today? Um, washed the kid, dressed him, did 2 loads of laundry, folded them, put them away, cleaned the bathroom, dusted, washed the dog and went to work. Where is MY REWARD????

7.Does anyne else cry when they fill up their cars? I do.

Oh and anyone that can tell me where to find out my search terms that people enter to get my blog I would appreciate it. Speak slowly when you tell me, I am not technically savvy like the hubby.