Monday, June 2, 2008

But where is the rum?

Okay so this weekend led me to having several random thoughts in my head. Please bare with me I am under caffinated (is that a term? Well it is now) and this leads me to write like a drunk.
I swear I am not drunk, at least not right now.

1. Why does my child still want to repeat a request over and over again? Like, "Mommy I want some milk....MOMMY I want some milk, MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYY I want some MILK...." and they keep this up until the said item is in their hand? Please tell me they grow out of this? Please...

2. Husbands need to have their hearing checked. I know my husband has selective hearing towards me. He always has. It's like my voice is on and his ears mute it. Unless I am offering sex, beer or nachos he hears nothing.
So imagine my surprise when I discovered that this past weekend he has toddler selective hearing as well. Bean kept calling, "Daddy, Daddy, OH DADDY" over and over again until I flipped out and told Bud to, "Answer him!!!"

3. Bean loves to brush my hair lately. I thought it would be oh so nice and relaxing. Um no. Basically he yanks out my hair by the root and tells me it looks, "oh so pretty." It's cool kid my head isn't bleeding hard.

5. Why do the old Disney movies have such LONG intros? I mean come on! When I am driving down the road and pop in a DVD to keep the kid happy and he is crying that the music is still on is unnerving.
So Disney if you read this when you remake the movies cut that out. Kids today have no patience to sit through that.

6. Have you noticed that when a guy does something, no matter how small, like wash a dish, he has to tell you about it? Like he needs a reward.
Um okay honey want to hear what I did today? Um, washed the kid, dressed him, did 2 loads of laundry, folded them, put them away, cleaned the bathroom, dusted, washed the dog and went to work. Where is MY REWARD????

7.Does anyne else cry when they fill up their cars? I do.

Oh and anyone that can tell me where to find out my search terms that people enter to get my blog I would appreciate it. Speak slowly when you tell me, I am not technically savvy like the hubby.

15 comments: said...

For the search terms? Ask Burgh.
For the BJs? A perfectly timed sneeze? Requires too much teeth. Enough said. For the kiddo? Pull his hair back and let him see what the hurt is. For the titty baby who needs approval? Tell him how great he's done washing that dish that it is now his permanent job.

OHmommy said...

Search terms.... sign up for google analytics. They have step by step instructions.

CUTE blog. I love your profile pic... the beer in the hand rocks!

Marmarbug said...

Oh I just noticed the beer!

Don Mills Diva said...

Ummm as for #3 - where are these hubbies? They certainly aren't hanging out with mine.

And also - what OHMommy said - get Google Analytics and then it's easy to figure out - it's totally worth it - they are a hoot!

Danielle said...

I couldn't even read anymore after I saw the word blow jobs! I was too busy laughing. In my opinion you are screwed. You should have been denying him all along. Trying using teeth. Ok this is gross. These sound like some good blog buddies you have- why haven't I found these blogs? haha

Danielle said...

oh and I tagged you for a Meme- check out my blog for details. If you want-no pressure.

Amanda Fullerton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda Fullerton said...

I could have written number 2 and number 6 myself. LOL!

I added a counter to my page, and when you view the stats of it (by logging into your 'stat' page) it tells you where the people came from, and sometimes it's a google search.

witchypoo said...

#2: Insert the words sex, beer, or, in Canada, Canadian Tire, at the beginning of your sentence if you want the husband to hear you.

Tranny Head said...

I'm convinced the people who claim their husbands don't like Bl*wj*bs are doing a lousy job at it.

Anonymous said...

Yes, yes, yes . . . on all of them! Cooper has taken to 'fixing' my hair lately - as in fixing with his play tools. Took me a good 15 minutes to get the screwdriver out the other day.

There has been less of a demand for BJ's around here since the time I, um . . . 'primed the pump' and then handed him a Kleenex. Have you ever burped after swallowing that stuff?!

Hyphen Mama said...

Wynnie repeats the same thing OVER AND OVER and one day it made me cry because it was so annoying! And since I don't scream at her to "SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP." I had to suck it up and walk away.

Children and men don't listen to the mommy/wife---YET if you fail to hear even ONE WORD they emit they get all upset. My new rule: I say it once, if you don't follow instructions or hear what I'm saying TOO BAD and you'll pay the consequences!

My husband isn't of the non-BJ following. He gets one occasionally and if he asks between times, there will BE NONE. I have a girlfriend who has never given her husband one and says "Honey, it's just SOOO BIG that it's really uncomfortable on my jaw." End of story.

Wynnie used to do my hair. I had to put a stop to it before I was bald.

Disney DOES suck at the long intro. But what can you do?

All men need to be petted when they do something small. And every woman wants to reach out and smack them. I've often wanted to list everything I've done just in the 45 minutes he's been sitting on the throne this morning. But again, they're deaf. I've started walking around saying "Mommy's a friggin' rock star! Look at all that I did today!"

I cry when I fill up my gas tank!!!

Hyphen Mama said...

Oh, and the rum? It's at my house. Come on over!!

Colleen said...

Gavin still tends to ask me 20,000 times for milk...even though I acknowledge his request...even though he can see that I am getting the milk for him. Although he's been slowly getting that he's uh, be patient. :)
The husband selective hearing If I elaborate, I might kill him right now, even though he's being nice and listening right now. hee hee!
the BJs?...they're usually only doled out when I am completely $#!%-faced, and even then it's very rare. I explained once that it's hard on my jaw due to his immense size and that seemed to work. A few times several years ago when he asked, I offered up different positions or locations that, while I wasn't fond of them, were much preferable to the BJ. Or I'd distract him with wearing something sexy or dirty talk...anything really...gah!
And yes, my husband also needs a standing ovation after something minor, whereas I've busted my ass for days without anyone even noticing. Punk.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Are you sure we aren't the same person? I mean, you perfectly described my husband AND my kid. Selective hearing? Check. Repeating? Check. BJ's? NOPE. I don't do them. I set that tone from the beginning, and have never even entertained the conversation.

Did you get Google Analytics going yet? You can use it or Statcounter to get your search terms. Same difference--both are pretty easy to get started.