Friday, March 28, 2008

Things kids do that I ponder on

Okay so being a first time mom and the youngest of three I never really was around other kids YOUNGER than me. I never was really around babies for long periods of time or anything. So when I had my son I began to wonder about certain things he did.

For instance:
1. Why do kids repeat themselves over and over again? Like if you ignore a question they never get the hint. They just keep asking you until you go cross eyed and say, "BECAUSE!!!"

2. What is the deal with stacking? It is udder facisnation to Bean. He can stack for hours. And gets angry each time his tower falls down.

3. Where is the fear level? Bean will climb/scale anything. He has never shown fear for this but will show gear if held upside down. Weird.

4. What is the obsession with private parts? I mean I understand it is all new but when does the newness wear off?I mean Bean is still obsessed with the tallywagger he discovered as an infant. I guess it has something to do with being a boy.

5. Why do little girls pull dresses over their head? I mean I do it sometimes to get Bud's attention (LOL) but what is the excitement being that young?

6. Why does EVERYTHING have to be theirs? I mean I am talking about stuff they never cared about before. Like a piece of paper. It has to be ALL THEIRS when held in the hand of another.

7. Why do they eat food off the floor? Now it has been a long time since Bean has done this, I still have to stop Bud sometimes, and usually our floors are clear from being constantly monmitored by two dogs. But where is the yum factor in an old M&M covered in lint. I mean at least pick it off.

8. What is the need for destruction? Bean can tear anything up in a matter of minutes. Then he cries when I throw the destroyed item away. um hello? I have done it a billion times in the past. Remember?

9. Poop talk is all the rage. Bean loves to tell random people that he made a huge poop. It is so fun.

10. Why is that no matter what crazy thing they do we just love them to pieces?

Friday, March 21, 2008

Family and the holidays

Ugh. I remember once upon a time that I used to love family holidays. I really did.

Then I wised up, became an adult and realized what a crazy situation it really is.
I used to always wonder what people meant when they said they would stay drunk through a family holiday. I LOVED my family. Why on earth would I want to be drunk? Remember folks this is when I was young and had not disovered liquor for myself.
Ha. Now I know. Slowly over the years my mother has gone crazy. Who knows maybe she always has been crazy and I never noticed it.
But between the hormones from menopause and my wising up to her, I know why people say they will remain drunk over the holidays.
So this weekend is Easter. Fairly simple holiday really. Not a lot of gifts to give and most people make a nice spring meal that includes a ham or pork tenderloin or what not.

It SHOULD be simple, right?

Ha, welcome to my hood.
NOTHING is simple with my family. Every holiday has to be SO CRAMMED with stuff that it is nearly impossible to enjoy.
So now, Easter has turned into hell week. My mother has an event planned for every waking moment.
Now most of you reading this are confused. Why would I think my mother is trying to ruin the holiday by planning family activities?

Well you don't know my mother.

Everything has to be just so. And if the woman isn't worked to the bone she complains. Hell she always complains. Right now I keep hearing HOW TIRED she is.
Well I tell her it's your own fault. We tell her every year to RELAX, take it easy.
She never does. So she is famous for planning out these ridiculous weekends and then getting drunk and the rest of us pick up the slack. Super fun it is.

So now as prepare to endure a holiday with my menopausal mother, remember when you are in church to pray for what is SUPPOSSED to matter this holiday - say a little prayer for me and the vokda I will be downing to make it through.

You think this is bad you should see Christmas. Oye.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Manic Monday

I hate Mondays. I really do.

It is bad enough I get no sleep on my weekends since my darling boy loves to wake me up at the late hour of 6:30. Yay. But Sunday nights I NEVER sleep.

I have no idea why? But I will say that it makes for a super fun Monday.

Today has been so much fun already. I was throwing a load in the dryer this morning when I felt something grab my leg. Turns out it was a someone. I JUMPED like at least 10 feet.

"Bean, you SCARED the doody out of momma."

"Hee-hee" Bean said as he ran down the hallway. Ah well. At least he was in a good mood. Rare for a weekday morning.

Then I went to Starbucks and my coffee tastes like crap. But HOW do they screw up a caramel macchiato? I get them ALL the time.

It may be a conspiracy. Bud HATES that Starbucks is my new vice so maybe he asked the nice Starbucks people to ruin my lovely coffee.

But no matter. My day is looking up already. I received my FIRST award evah! From Laskigal

a new blog friend of mine.

Go check out her blog. She does an amazing recap of American Idol. I love it.
I have never handed out awards but I will for a few people out there.
1. Law student hot mama - Please if you haven't yet go check out her blog. She is a riot and makes me giggle everyday.
2. Burgh Baby - She also cracks me up. I feel like I really get what she is saying since I too, have a toddler that runs my house.
3. Life according to Lizzy - reading her blog reassures me that one day Bean will grow up and I'll have even more worries at that point. Plus she is such a sweetie! Check her out!
4. Zoe - Ah Zoe. Girl you CRACK me up too. You remind me that we are all human and motherhood is no walk in the park. Love your stuff!
Okay I passed my award on. I expect more one day. Ahem.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Sexy time anyone?

Ah. My child.
He is crazy I know it. He is officially going through the "I'd rather be naked phase" of life.
He does provide warning as to when he is going to do it. It usually begins, "Momma you wanna see my naked?"
I say, "No Bean, Momma has seen your naked every day of your life."
"But Momma I wanna show you MY naked."
"Bean please, keep your pants on, really. I'm good now."

This can go on until finally he streaks through the house naked. It must be thrilling for him. If I did something like that I'd be chased by Daddy. And well, no offense to Bud but I'm over that phase in life. LOL
And I really don't need to give that man any temptation.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

My humps, my humps my lovely lady lumps.

So I am joining the boobie carnival. Sarcastic Mom aka Lotus had a feeding carnival the other day and yes I may be late but only cause I JUST found out about it.
I read Zoe's story and then found out about the carnival. And being the follower I am I decided to do it as well.

Breastfeeding. It really seemed like such a simple easy thing. It really did. I knew when I had a baby that I would breastfeed. I just knew it. Just like I just knew I would have three kids (um, yeah MAYbe 2), that I would be a stay at home mom (ahem, I was for a YEAR! ), and of COURSE I would breastfeed. I mean why not?

Well I got pregnant. I became obsessed with everything realted to pregnancy. I watched Discovery Health, joined WebMD (where I met some pretty awesome girls), and read everything. I researched relentlessly online. I discovered Boppy pillows, how many breastpumps were in the world, and bought nursing bras. I was so excited. I would be THE best mom ever.

My mom warned me that some things could complicate breastfeeding. Don't get me wrong she wanted me to breastfeed. She was just trying to prepare me. She couldn't breastfeed my brothers 1. Becasue with her first kid she had toxemia (now called HELLP) and was too ill and he was too premature and back then they didn't really care about breastfeeding.
2. My other brother refused to do it.

But I remained positive. I knew I would do it and for the recommended year.
I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy. I went on bed rest once for a UTI for a week and other than getting huge and gross I was fine.
Until I hit 34 weeks. My boobie story will be a part birth part bfing story)

I awoke the morning of January 17th (MLK day) at about 4:30 a.m. I had the most wretched pain in my chest. On my right side near my shoulder. It was so horrible. I figured it was gas. We had gone to the movies that evening and I had pigged out.
I woke up and started walking around. I ignored the sign of impending labor since I was early.
I could NOT stop peeing. I peed all morning. Later I learned my body was preparing for birth.
I continued to walk around breathing through this "gas pain". It continued to get worse. I began to cry but did not realize it until I heard my husband in the doorway to the family room asking why I was sobbing. I reached up and saw that yes I had been crying.
THAT'S how much pain I was in.
I told him I had a terrible gas pain and was just walking through it. He looked at me and said, "We are going to the ER." I tried to argue with him but he was insistent. He said, "If it's nothing they send us home. No biggie."
So at 7:00 a.m. on MLK day 2005 we headed to the hospital.
I went to the ER where they took one look at me and wheeled me straight to Labor and Delivery. I started to get very nervous.
Well the admitting nurse told me to change into a gown and they would hook me up to see what was happening. I told her I was fine, I just had gas. She said, "Let's make sure."
I was SO embarrassed. Surely I was fine.
They hooked me up to the machines and the nurse said, "Sweetie did you know you were contracting every 3-4 minutes?"
I looked at her and said, "WHAT!" I asked her what a contraction felt like. she told me and I said, "Well the only thing I feel right now is the pain in my chest area." She said they would find the source of that.
She checked me and wala I was 2 centimeters dialated. I began to hyperventilate. She reassured me I was fine and that she was going to call my doctor to see what he wanted to do.
I told Bud it was too soon. That the baby would be a preemie. I started to cry.
Bud was already crying. His were tears of joy. Mine were of fear.
I knew something was wrong. I just knew it at that point.

Well my doctor told the nurse to admit and monitor me. To not stop my contractions and to not help them either. To just wait and see.
We called all of the family. My parents drove up there and we sat and waited.
While we waited I had several vials of blood drawn. I figured it was normal. I didn't know at that time I was being tested for everything under the sun.
Well at around 4 that afternoon nothing had happened. My contractions were still there, no more dialation, and the pain was STILL there, just as bad as ever.
My doctor came in and said, "Well it looks like you can go home. False alarm. You can start to get your stuff together. I am waiting for one last test but after that comes back, you can go. "
I was relieved. Maybe it was gas. I was fine. No biggie.
My mom and MIL were in the room and looked relieved as well.
Not even three minutes later my doctor returned with a team of people behind him. My heart sank.
He pulled up a chair and said,"Please don't panic." Ha I panicked. He went on, "You have an illness called HELLP, a complication of pre-ecclampsia. Right now your liver enzymes are rising, hence the pain in your chest, and your platelets are falling to a dangerous level. If I don't deliver this baby right now you could hemmorage to death." I started to cry. I was going to lose my baby. I was going to die. (Now the doc didn't say all of this just like this he actually said it really well. He does have a great bedside manner.)
He told me he was taking me for an emergency c-section. My mom called Bud on his cell, he was in the cafe getting food.
Bud ran upstairs just as I was being wheeled off. He told me later that was the most afraid he has ever been.
I got to the OR and was put to sleep. I woke up 40 minutes later to Bud standing over me. He said Bean was fine and in the nursery.
He was later moved to the NICU due to respiratory distress since his lungs weren't quite ready.
I was in the hospital for a week. I was so sick. I slept for 24 hours straight on a magnesium drip.
I saw Bean the next day. I had forgotten all about breastfeeding.
When Bean was 2 days old the nurse came in and asked me how I wanted to feed him. I said I wanted to breastfeed. She wheeled the pump in and said that since he was having issues feeding that he couldn't go on the breast yet. But soon.
So I pumped. I remember putting that pump to my breast and nothing happened. Just my boob kept being deformed with each suck but nothing came out. I cried. I was broken.
The nurse came in and told me that it may take a little longer than most for my milk to arrive. After all I was very sick and the meds I was on could delay the process. (I did have awesome nurses). This news helped. So every 3-4 hours I used the pump.
Finally on the 4th day something happened. The tiniest amount of yellow came out. I was ECSTATIC.
My colostrum had finally arrived. I began to pump more. Soon I was like a jersey milk cow (or so Bud called me).
I stayed in the hospital with Bean until he was discharged 5 days after me. I pumped all the time. I tried the actual breast a few times and he would furiously try to latch but it was still dificult for him. The night before he was discharged I breastfed. I was so excited. I had done it.
I continued to pump between feedings in order to up my supply.
I breastfed exclusively for almost 5 months.
Then I dried up. I did everything, took vitamins, drank water, pumped like crazy. Nothing.
My OB said that this happens. And there was nothing they could do.
I cried. I wanted to breastfeed but had nothing to offer.
Bean was already 18 pounds at this point so my momma milk did his body good.
I know that I should be proud. I am. I tried and did breastfeed for a lot longer than a lot of moms ever get too.
Today Bean is 43 pounds, almost 3 and a half feet tall and is only 3 years old. He is healthy and happy and I guess my momma milk did its job.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Girl Scouts are evil

Zoe reminded me of something that has been bothering me for a while.

Girl Scouts. Why do they bother me you ask? THEY ARE THE DEVIL! No, really they are. I am sorry if you have a little girl and she is a Girl Scout but mark my words those girls and their organization are EVIL!

Why are they evil? One reason. The cookies. It may sound simple but trust me it's not. I mean don't get me wrong those cookies are the most damn yummy things ever. I love them. Do-si-dos, Thin Mints, Samoas. But have you looked at how many grams of fat are in each cookie? It's like eating a Big Mac!
Yes, I know they sell low fat cookies but who the hell wants those? I swear the cookies are so addicting. I'm like a crack whore when they come around. I salivate when there is a Thin mint next to me.
I'm weak. So I never buy them. Ever. No Girl Scouts need to come to my door.

But it isn't that easy. Now they are at every major retailer. The grocery store, Wal-Mart, Target, even Wawa. WTH? GO AWAY!
Stop taunting me with those cookies!
The worst thing about the cookies is the time of year they choose to sell them. March? Umm yeah swimsuit and less than there clothing season is fast approaching. If I buy those cookies I will be hiding under a mumu.
Now I am not a fat girl. You know why? I stay away from those damn cookies! My husband is not allowed to bring them into our home. Ever.
So sorry little girl scouts. This momma isn't going to help you meet you cookie goal this year. Cause I want to have one butt. Not two.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Tag your it!

So Lizzy has tagged me for my very first meme! Which was good since I really don't have much to talk about today!
Here goes:

What were you doing ten years ago?
Let's see 10 years ago I was in my junior year of high school. I was with my husband and having the time of my life! I didn't even have a real job yet! Woohoo!
I was geting over a really bad car accident still attending reahbilitation.
My husband and I were in a car on the way to school. We had to take a windy two lane country road to get there. Yeah we lived and are back in the boondocks. Love it.
Anywho. We were hit head on by an 18 wheeler. The truck literally ran over the Honda Civic we were in starting at the drivers side front bumber and ending on the passenger roof. I was the passenger.
We were air lifted to the nearest trauma unit. It was a huge dramatic event. I broke my right femur and got a nasty cut that was required 2 surgeries from where the dashboard had pinned me. I was cut out of the car with the jaws of life. I spent over a week in the hospital. I was a hurt chick. But no matter! I am alive and dont dwell on the past!

What were you doing one year ago?
A year ago we were living in the hell city near Northern Virginia. I was working at another company. I loved my job then. We were also getting ready for a huge vacation to the Dominican Republic. :( I want to go right now!!!!!!
Name five of your favorite snacks.
Chips and fresh salsa or guacamole, twizzlers, mixed nuts, carrots and ranch, thin mints (damn crack cookies) I keep NONE of this in the house! LOL Except the carrots. They aren't bad.

Name five things you would do if you were a millionaire.
1. Pay off our mortgage. And bills.
2. Vacation
3. Buy a new wardrobe.
4. Buy something super cool and expensive for Bean
5. Set up a trust for Bean

Name five things you like doing.
1. Being with my husband and son doing ANYTHING!
2. Shopping. I just adore it!
3. Watching a good movie
4. Cooking
5. Traveling

Name five things you would never wear again.
1. Stirrup leggins.
2. Poofy bangs
3. Platform shoes
4. belly sweaters
5. knee high socks

Name your five favorite "toys".
1. My computer
2. My straight iron
3. My margarita machine
4. Ipod
5. Cell

Okay now I get to tag some people. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I shall tag, hypenmama, keri, zoe, lawstudnethotmama, and my newest friend laskigal. Have fun girls!

In totally unrealted news: Why is it sooooooo hard to find plain water. I mean really. The other day I went to a little gas station to get BOTTLED PLAIN water. They only had flavored. WTH?
Sad that it is so difficult to get a natural resource. Don't even get me started on the fact that we BUY dirt.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Breaking up is hard to do

Last night I had an emergency girl's night out. One of my best friends is going through a really bad break up.
Break ups are so much harder now than they were back in high school which is the last time I experienced one. Yeah I have been with my man that long!
So we went out for dinner and drinks which turned into no dinner and several drinks. I feel helpless. I really have no idea what to say. Except that I am here for her. Ugh. Someone needs to write a manual for this stuff.
Dealing with her break up made me think of my bad one. I was 15, yes I know too young for a true relationship. But he was my first love and I "thought" that was it. When I fall, I fall hard and fast.
We had been together for about 2 years. I was getting ready to turn 16. I decided I didn't want to have a boyfriend anymore. I wanted some freedom! Spring fever had hit and I really wanted to get out there an have a good time.
I called him on the phone with my best friend by my side. (Not the one above, the one with me at that time is my long lost sister, seriously).
So I told him that I really didn't want to date anymore. That there was no particular reason why just that I was young and wanted to see what was out there. Well he broke down. Crying and blubbering like a GIRL! I was shocked. Men aren't supposed to cry!
I remember stuttering something then hanging up! I didn' know what to do! It was so weird as though he and I switched roles!
Well later that night his mom called my mom! His mom said he was devestated and if there was anything my mom could do to change my mind. My mom told her that it was my choice and HELLO I was 15!
Well this continued for a few months. I had my fun, hanging out and casually dating. I loved it. It was so nice to just go with the flow.
Well this guy would show up all the time, at my house, at my best friends house. I started to screen calls to avoid him. It was pretty sad.
Well I guess he got over it cause finally he stopped stalking me.
I ran into him years later and do you know he started to stalk me AGAIN! I finally had to avoid him like the plague.
But it is funny you know. Break ups then were relatively simple. You called the person, said you were done, had a good cry and off you went.
As adults it becomes SO much more. There is property to divide, lawyers to be called, a true life change.
I pray that things go easily for her and that I never have to face it. Lord knows, I didn't do well with my high school break up! I would never survive an adult one!