Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Girl Scouts are evil

Zoe reminded me of something that has been bothering me for a while.

Girl Scouts. Why do they bother me you ask? THEY ARE THE DEVIL! No, really they are. I am sorry if you have a little girl and she is a Girl Scout but mark my words those girls and their organization are EVIL!

Why are they evil? One reason. The cookies. It may sound simple but trust me it's not. I mean don't get me wrong those cookies are the most damn yummy things ever. I love them. Do-si-dos, Thin Mints, Samoas. But have you looked at how many grams of fat are in each cookie? It's like eating a Big Mac!
Yes, I know they sell low fat cookies but who the hell wants those? I swear the cookies are so addicting. I'm like a crack whore when they come around. I salivate when there is a Thin mint next to me.
I'm weak. So I never buy them. Ever. No Girl Scouts need to come to my door.

But it isn't that easy. Now they are at every major retailer. The grocery store, Wal-Mart, Target, even Wawa. WTH? GO AWAY!
Stop taunting me with those cookies!
The worst thing about the cookies is the time of year they choose to sell them. March? Umm yeah swimsuit and less than there clothing season is fast approaching. If I buy those cookies I will be hiding under a mumu.
Now I am not a fat girl. You know why? I stay away from those damn cookies! My husband is not allowed to bring them into our home. Ever.
So sorry little girl scouts. This momma isn't going to help you meet you cookie goal this year. Cause I want to have one butt. Not two.


Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I have spent TWO WEEKS hunting for a darn Girl Scout and her crack cookies, and didn't succeed until yesterday. My dealer only had one box that I wanted, so I'm still without my full fix. It's killing me, it really is.

I need to move to wherever you are so that I can actually find myself a good cookie dealer.

Hyphen Mama said...

I can't even make eye contact with them...I always rush past them (in the doorway of the grocery store)and mutter in my wake "Um, I've got diabetes and can't eat cookies...." Liar, liar, pants on fire.

They make liars out of all of us. Nothing good can come from that.

Hyphen Mama said...

p.s. I'm working on the meme.

Huge bummer about the car accident! Hope you're all healed up and pain free now.

LaskiGal said...

I'm with Burgh. No dealers in my hood either. Life stinks in terms of cookie fixes . . .

I may have to hunt down some Mint Milanos.

Marmarbug said...

thanks hypen mama. I am all healed for the most part. I still have a titanium rod in my leg and my leg can get pretty tired sometimes. Also I have a scar on my knee. But when I think of how I could have ended up. Well I am pretty darn lucky.

Zoe said...

evil evil bitches.