Monday, August 18, 2008

The farmer in the dell...

So how was your weekend? Good you say? Exciting?
Well I bet I can up you one.
I had a good weekend per say. However, we did acquire some new pets.

My husband, God help him, or help me, thinks he is a farmer.
This obsession began when we bought the house we are living in. We acquired 4 acres along with the house that was in farm type area.
It was good with me. I was about 2 months preggo when we bought it and even though I could smell the nasty manure across the way at my neighbors I enjoyed the quiet this area brought.
I mean after all I did sleep most of my first trimester.
So while I sat and enjoyed the quiet my husband had a another plan up his sleeve. What's that you ask?
Oh my husband dreamed of a farm. A real farm with cows, horses, chicken, and even a little barefoot pregnant wife walking around.
I however did not share this same dream.
I liked the quiet, and imagined that we would use our land for our new baby to play on with our dog (we only had one then). My dream was quiet. Nice.

Not good enough for the husband. So one day he scoured the local paper and found horses for sale. I groaned that no I did not want horses. It was just one more thing to take care of and right then I was lucky I was able to feed myself through my constant nausea. Forget some stinky horses.
Well he was insistent. "Let's just go look."
I figured what was the harm in entertaining his idea.
Well we came home with TWO horses.

After I had Bean and being so sick I just could not keep up with the horses. Our neighbor took over and we eventually sold them to her. I see them all the time when I walk out my door and they let me pet them. So I get to see them and pet them. I just don't have to take care of them anymore.
Which was good since it was not my idea to get them!

So this weekend husband wanted to go to a livestock auction. He wanted some goats. I was like whatever. Goats were easier than horses right?
Well we never got the goats.
BUT we did inherit three bunnies, 2 roosters, and 6 guinea fowl. Oh yay.

Have I ever mentioned that I am TERRIFIED of birds? I like them in a cage but that is the extent. Now I have 8 (well 7 now - the neighbors dog ate one guinea this morning) BIRDS walking around.

I was kind of hoping that they would wander off overnight (the birds) and I would never see them again. Nope.
They may be dumb animals but they know where the food is.

So that brings me to this:

HUSBAND FOR SALE: late 20's, dark hair, hazel eyes, believes self to be a farmer. If you want to entertain his belief, he is yours. Comes complete with set of roosters and a few guinea.


Danielle said...

haha you cracxk me up. I would love a farm. You can come live in my shitty condo and I will go live with your livestock.

the planet of janet said...


*gasp wheeze choke attempt to inhale*


Hyphen Mama said...

I will SO trade places with you. But I'll be bringing alpaca with me! I fancy myself a rancher...hubby thinks I'm a coupla bricks short of a load.

I grew up on 3 acres, we raised french lop rabbits, we had guinea pigs, hamsters and cats. I wanted a horse so much I couldn't stand it. All the neighbors had horses. My dad wouldn't let me. SOMEDAY I'll have horses.

You lucky, lucky woman.

Pictures? PLEASE???????

Someone Being Me said...

No pig? I really want a pot belled pig but that wouldn't really work here in my little tiny niche of suburbia. I actually have joked many times with my husband that I want a goat since he won't mow the grass. They will keep the grass short but they will also eat everything within reach.

Burgh Baby said...

See, that is why I can never have a bunches of acres of land, even if it is one of my biggest dreams. Mr. Husband will be unstoppable in his animal acquisition projects. I might just have to put him up for sale, too.

Kellan said...

Oh, that was funny - that last paragraph - HA! Good luck with the farm animals - how funny!

Take care - Kellan

Julie said...

LOL!!! I LOVE animals. But I am with you, birds are bit freaky. Plus they are stinkier than most animals.

I'm sorry!

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

ROFLMAO!!! OMG don't get pigs.. I love animals but personal experience living on a farm them chickens and pigs stink, and are not worth the effort.

OOO the next time he wants to take you to auction maybe you can sale him....

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Sock monkey dress - laughing with me or at me??

Hallie :)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Sock monkey dress - laughing with me or at me??

Hallie :)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Sock monkey dress - laughing with me or at me??

Hallie :)

Nap Warden said...

Husband and the birds...someone is getting a deal!

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

Oh my Lord! If my husband ever came home with any sort-of livestock he would be living out in the field with them! Here's hoping the neighbors dog develops an appetite for 'em!

Tranny Head said...

This post gives me all the more reason to live in a place that is not zoned for livestock. I admit, the livestock aren't the problem for me. It's those effing roosters. I'd shoot myself with effing roosters who don't shut up starting at 4:00 am.

ummmhello said...

HAHAHAA!!! Too funny! Sorry, no room for farmers here in the middle of chicago!

OHmommy said...

YOU are hysterical.

My kids would do anything to have bunnies, roosters, and fowls running around our property.