Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Okay seriously?

So I have decided there are WAY too many idiots in the world. I mean seriously? Do you ever wonder how some people manage to get themselves out of bed in the morning? Because they are so stupid that it AMAZES me that they can figure out how to put one foot in front of the other.
Ahem. Hold on I need to count to 1000 10.
Okay so let me bitch tell you about why I feel this way.
So I have a few examples.

Example 1
Scene : Bloom (grocery store)

Me: Walking aimlessly trying to find the capers. I type the word capers into the dummies helpful computer.
Computer: Aisle 2.
Me: Thinking okay, no problem. On to Aisle 2. I COMBED that d aisle. No sign of capers ANYWHERE. DAMN IT! BAD COMPUTER!
Found an employee finally. (Too bad you can't enter THAT in the computer, "Do you have anyone that WORKS in this store?)
Asked said employee where capers are.
Employee: Oh could you not find them?
Me: (thinking) No genius I just felt like WASTING my afternoon looking for them.

Example 2
Scene: Starbucks
Me: Standing in line waiting for my crack caffeine fix.
Person in front of me: (Staring at menu board) Um, what do you have?
Cashier: (Probably thinking WHAT A FLIPPIN IDIOT) Um, everything on the board we have.
Person in front of me: Um, can I get a small coffee?
Me: (thinking OMG!!!!!)
Cashier: Which flavor? We have two today.
Person: Um just regular.

Seriously where do these people COME FROM?????
Under a rock somewhere????


Hyphen Mama said...

I don't fault people for not knowing what's on a Starbucks menu. What I fault them for is being a dumbass who gets in line before they know what they want; or not looking at you and saying "you go ahead of me, I don't have a clue what I want yet." common courtesy. nobody has it anymore.

Marmarbug said...

Hyphenmama - I agree. It was obvious it was this persons first time in a starbucks. Hey no biggie but figure out what the H-E-double hockeysticks you want first. Cause me? I have had no caffeine and will kill you.

Catwoman said...

I can't believe there's anyone left in America who hasn't gone into a Starbucks yet. I mean, seriously, have they been living in a cave for the last 15 years???

Danielle said...

hahaha. I don't go to Starbucks but if I did I would certainly scope out the menu before I went anywhere near the counter.

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

"here your sign" Ummm I encounter rude stupid fire retarded idiots on a daily bases most them are hanging out at the local Wal-mart. Mind you in my redneck village that is all that we have to shop at soooo from the Mexicans who speak no English to your average (here your sign idiot) it make for delightful day's.

The most important question is there really and justice left in the World? Can't we force these people to wear signs explaining there lack of hmmmmm smarts

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

On the last statement I meant "any" sorry smart people type to fast LOL

Colleen said...

there's a quote from the Disney movie "The Lion King" that I used to have as a wav file everytime I had a stop error on my computer. It's Scar saying "I'm surrounded by idiots!" Just soooo true!

warriorwoman said...

they all come from the Idiot Factory.
no one knows it's location.
it's whereabouts are a closely guarded secret.
cause if we did know its location, we'd shut it down.

I, myself, rolled off the factory line 43 years ago..............

Darrin said...

LOL!! Oh God... I can't count how many times I've been pi$$ed off while waiting for my morning caffiene fix at Bux!!

Immoral Matriarch said...

ROFL!! Stupid starbucks person.

Nap Warden said...

I don't know where they come from...but I am convinced that they are multiplying:O

Kellan said...

Sometimes ... I order a small, plain coffee - tee hee!

Have a good evening - Kellan

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

You'd SHOOT the BK King?

Couldn't you just kick him really hard?

Hallie :)