Older and wiser

First thank you all for your well wishes and thoughts. I really appreciate it.

But I really want to dive back in too blogging and what other way to do that than a Bean Funny Friday.

1.
I was getting ready to pick Bean up for school and noticed on the way a house that Christmas had thrown up on. There were lights, animated figures, inflatables, EVERYTHING! I was excited and knew Bean would love it. So I picked him up and said, "Bean I have to show you this house. It will blow your socks off."
So we drive by the house and do all of the required oohing and ahhhing. Well after we turned around and headed for home Bean said, "Momma? That house did NOT blow my socks off. See?"
It was all I could do to keep my car on the road.

2.
This morning Bean came in to wake me up. He hopped in bed and was talking to me and his Daddy. Well he decide it was time for us to get out of bed. When I just laid there and looked at him he said, "Mommy I know you are really old and need help getting out of bed. Let me help you. You really need to see a doctor."

Thanks kid.

There are no words strong enough.

Wow. I have really been MIA. I apologize and have missed everyone. I try to pop on every once in a while but being that I am in cubicle hell now and that I have NO spare time at home leaves little time to blog or read blogs.
That being said, I will try harder to carve some time out.
I need to blog. I need my vent time. I also need to read about everyone else’s vents, joy’s and heartaches. Makes me realize I am not alone.

So since it’s the holidays and as Donkey in Shrek says, “My momma said that it ain’t Christmas until somebody cries” here is my cry for you.

Two weeks ago I got a phone call at work. It was my husband.
“Your uncle just called. Your cousin was shot and killed this morning.”
It took all I had not to drop the phone and vomit. I literally heard my heart beating in my ears.
“Bud, slow down” I said as calmly as I could. “Which cousin?” it sounds awful now but honestly? I have several cousins and a name would be great.
“It was Sam, he was shot this morning during a raid.”
My cousin is, well was, in the FBI. No secret now obviously. He was serving an arrest warrant in Pittsburgh and was fatally shot by the dealer’s wife.

So may thoughts flashed through my mind as Bud told me this. Shot? How? Don’t they wear protective gear? Where was he shot? Did he suffer?
None of these thoughts made it out of my mouth as I just sat, in my cubicle, with tears running down my face.

There are no words to describe how I felt. I felt anger, sadness, and confusion all rolled into one. It was one of those things that you never feel would ever come into your family. You read about sad things like this in the news. But you never expect to live them.

The funeral was the saddest thing I have ever attended. I have been to few family funerals. We were lucky in that way. The funerals I have attended are for grandparents and great grand parents. People that you expect to pass away.

Now my family was attending a funeral for a 33 year old man. A man with a young son and wife. In the beginnings of his career. Gone.
“So sad” or “Such a shame” I heard that day amongst the quiet crying in the church.
I had never been to a police funeral. Never in my life had I ever been amongst so many members of law enforcement.
I felt like I was in a movie. This had been the type of things I HAD seen in movies. Yet we were living through it.
It was surreal in the very least.
I rode that day in a motorcade with my family, in FBI vehicles. The Baltimore beltway was shut down for the funeral procession. A procession that included over 3000 people.
During the procession we would go underneath overpasses that held firefighters saluting the procession. People stuck in traffic had pulled over and were standing outside of their vehicles with their hands over their heart. Police officers that were blocking the interstate exits had turned to salute, the Baltimore K-9 unit stood on the side of the road with their officers. Again, so surreal.
The burial was the most difficult part of the funeral. In front of the casket sat my family. I would look up every so often to see my cousin’s wife’s shoulders shaking as she sobbed quietly into the shoulder of her sister. All around us stood those that came to pay their respects. The majority of the guests were law enforcement and there was not a dry eye out there.
When they did the final radio call I lost it. It really hit me at that point that he was gone. I felt immense sadness for his wife and son. To have the one they loved so much taken away so suddenly. So unfairly.

I went home after the funeral emotionally and physically exhausted. I hugged Bean so tightly that he told me I was hurting him.
I have to remind myself after this awful turn of events that I have so much to be grateful for over the holidays.
I have my husband and son. We are healthy; we have food on the table and a roof over our heads.
It is sad that it is events such as this that force us to reflect on ourselves.
I wish all of you a happy and safe holiday this year.

Kids = Large Ego

You know that new commercial about the Volkswagen van commercial with Brooke Shields? You know where she states to not have a baby just for German engineering?

I am thinking I need to make a commercial. But my commercial will have a new approach. It will be why you SHOULD have kids. Main reason? Your ego.

That’s right. Your ego. I have decided that since I have given birth that my once larger than life ego has become so large I am shocked I can make it in the door.

Now I am sure some of you are scratching your heads thinking, “Um no actually my ego is down since after I had a baby I got this freak show of a body.”
I understand that. My body, I admit, will never look the same. BUT if like me you gained a gazillion few more pounds than you planned when you were pregnant since you took it as your one chance to order not one, but TWO large value meals at McDonalds and no one would look at you like you were a big fat pig hungry but PREGNANT, (not that I ever did this) Ahem, moving on.
Anyways if you DID gain a bunch of weight than you lost it like I did that right there is your first ego boost.
“Oh my! YOU had a baby? I never would have guessed you are SO thin.”

Of course if you didn’t lose the weight no worries there are other ego boosts to having a kid.
Case in point, the other day I was getting ready for work and Bean came around the corner. “Mommy you are SO pretty. Just like a princess.”
Yes I know I hugged him so hard and then slipped a 20 in his back pocket so he’ll know to keep those compliments coming.
What? Your kid never says you’re a princess? Hmmmm well how about this one.

I was cooking chili the other day and Bean came up and said, “What are you making?” I told him chili and he looked unimpressed.
Later when we were eating the chili Bean said, “Mommy you make the BEST chili ever. I love it!”

Ah yes. And I love the compliments.

Not a cooker you say? Well then this is my last shot to help you out.

Over the weekend Bean and I went shopping at a local outlet. There were people everywhere (um slow economy? Not at the outlet apparently) and I kept thinking that I was surrounded by morons.
Well this guy almost hit me but I managed to avoid him.
Bean piped up from the back, “Mommy! That man is a BAD driver. I am so glad you are a good driver.”
Ah yes apparently he has forgotten my little speeding incident from a few weeks ago.
What can I say? The kid remembers what he wants too.

So there you have it. Having a kid is the greatest ego booster ever. Even better than dare I say a new pair of shoes. After all the shoes can make you feel good but the kid tells you that you look good.
So I wonder who I can have in my commercial. Maybe Kate from the Jon & Kate show?

No stork lies here

So, I think Bean is going to be a doctor some day. Or a very confused kid. I’m not sure yet. I’ll have to see if I am paying for med school or psychologist.
Are you confused yet? Let me explain.

Bean loves to watch Discovery Health. My mom said it isn’t a good idea for him to watch it but I figure it’s educational. Blood does not seem to faze that kid. Well unless it’s his blood. That’s different.

Bean is actually quite interested in the baby shows. You know Birth Story? Well I should have known that all of this would lead to the question. You know THE QUESTION.

“Mommy where do babies come from?” Bean asked.
“Ummmm well they are made by God (thankfully he asked this AFTER we started going to church.). I replied
“How does God make them Mommy?” Bean asked.
“He just...does.” Oh man this is TOUGH!
“How do they get in your tummy?”he asked again
“Ummm…God puts them there.” I stammered.
“Why?”he asked
“Because when God makes them they are VERY small and need to grow.” I answered.
“Oh but why does the Mommy get them?”Bean wondered.
“Because our belly stretches.” I replied.
Bean puffs out his belly.
“Mine does too Mommy.” Bean said.
“Well a Mommy’s can stretch REALLY big.” I answered.
“Oh, was I in YOUR belly Mommy?” Bean asked.
“Yes baby you were a long time ago.” I said, kind of sadly.
“Yes I was in there, I remember.”
“You do?”
“Mmmmhmmm, can I go back in there Mommy?”
“Uh no, you won’t fit.”
Then I turned on Max and Ruby. This subject had to change!!!

Men spend 9 months trying to get out and the rest of their lives trying to get back in. Next time this comes up - it is all Bud.

Are you there God? It's me Bean.

Well after deciding we no longer wanted to be considered heathens the hubs and I decided to start taking Bean to church.
Part of the reasoning was not only to not be classified as heathens but the reasoning also stemmed from a conversation that Bean and I had a few weeks prior to our first visit to church.

It was a cloudy, rainy day
(Sounds like a bad novel start)

Bean: Momma, I want to go outside and play on my 4-wheeler.
Me: Bean, sweetie, maybe today isn’t a good day for that.
Bean: Why?
Me: Well it is raining outside.
Bean: Oh. Why is it raining outside?
Me: Well honey I guess God decided we need rain today.
Bean: I hate God.
Me: BEAN! Don’t ever say that. That is terrible.
Bean: Well I do.


So this is turn led me to realize that Bean just did not know who God was. We were never die-hard Christians going to church with him so to Bean, God was just some guy that decided to make it rain when he wanted to ride his 4-wheeler.
The nerve.

So before my child started to sound like the Anti-Christ off to church we went.
I had little hope for Bean since he would have to sit still for an hour. Unless Max and Ruby is on T.V. then the child will sit there with his eyeballs firmly fixed to the screen. (This is a WONDERFUL thing when Mommy is getting ready for work)
So we get to church.
Bean is wide-eyed looking around the worship area. We sit in our pew and Bean is still wide-eyed.
I begin to wonder if his eyes will get stuck in that position.
Then the pastor comes to the pulpit (we are Baptist – just so you know!), and begins the welcome and announcements. Then we sing.
Bean looks perplexed and then hears the word “holy” in the song and proceeds to sing that word over and over again.
Hey singing is singing.
Then we have prayer. Bean looks around at everyone’s head bent over and asks “Mommy what are you doing?”
I gently told him “shhhh”. Ever notice that in those quiet moments that your child’s “whisper” seems SO noisy???
Anyways, we then had offering and the money plate was passed. Bean looked impressed at the dollars inside. Thankfully he didn’t try to swipe one.
Then we had the sermon.
Bean shifted around in his seat quite a bit but for the most part he was VERY good throughout the service.
Bud and I were shocked.

Later, on the way home he said, “Mommy, I love God.”
“Well that is great to hear.” I told him.
“Mommy did you know that God is so cute, and he wears pants and shoes like Daddy.”
“Mmmmm.” I replied.
“Mommy did you know that God is right there (he pointed to our back deck) sitting on the table?”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes, he is right there and he loves me.”

Makes you wonder if that study that children can see things adults can't is true or not.

That's my stapler...

Wow. I have truly been SLACKING lately.
I have been slacking for several reasons.
1. Moving. Can we just say moving sucks? I mean really. You would think I had it a bit easier since we were going back to our old house but um, no. Of course adding to the wack job of a move, other contributing factors have made it not a simple task. Read on for clarification.
2. New job. Yeah. So I was so worried about not getting a job. Well I got one and am pretty happy that I did considering the sad state of the economy. Can I just say I am GLAD I am not a: realtor, stockbroker, banker, politician right now??????? (er, sorry if that applies to anyone)
But I am back with the company I was with down south and so far things are good. Except for the fact that I am in a cubicle again. Yeah.
Do you know I have not been in a cube for over 4 years? It sucks. No privacy whatsoever. So don’t fart, burp, take too many personal phone calls or pick your nose since you never know who could pop their little head around the corner.
However being in a cube reminds me so much of Office Space. Haha! Or of being a gopher or prairie dog.
3. Bud is out of town.
You single moms, wives of military men or wives of men who just travel A LOT? I applaud you. I honest too God do. Bud has been gone for three weeks. I am just not used to doing things alone. And of course it leads me to realize that yes, Bud must do something around here since I am so friggin tired. I am not sure if this pleases me or not yet. I’ll get back to you.

But I am going to start making my rounds again. I hope to “see” some of you again soon. And I am working on a pretty cute Bean post. So hopefully this will be the last update post. I admit they are kinda dry.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Okay first let me apologize!!! Things have been hectic here and I for one am pooped.
So some updates: first and foremost I have a job!!!! YAY! My previous company had a position and were able to rehire me at a field office here. I have about a 20 minute drive. I am THANKFUL for this job after seeing so many right now out of work. Times suck.

Let's see what else???? Oh, I got a ticket. Yeah on September 11th. Ironic much???
I was speeding, yes I admit it. There are no excuses for it except that I have a lead foot and that it is a miracle that this is my first one.
Yeah my very first ticket.
So I was on my way to an interview. I was running late, trying to get Bean to school so that I could go to the interview and well I flew past a cop that was hiding in a ditch. I mean really??? Is that fair? No!!! I mean that was some good camouflaging there.
So I flew past him going 66 in a 45. Yeeeaaaaahhhh. Of course once I saw him I immediately tapped my brakes but it was too late. Basically I blame it on instinct for hitting those brakes.
So right when I flew past him I told Bean that I was getting a ticket. I mean I figured unless he was passed out or dead that he caught that one on his radar.
So he pulled out of his spot and I pulled over. Bean started to cry hysterically telling the cop not to send me to jail.
I think this helped out a bit. So he knocked my charge from reckless driving to good old fashioned speeding.

So that sucked the big one. I'm not looking forward to court. Any pointers would help since this is my first ticket ever.
Hate breaking that perfect streak.

I am a bad bad blogger lately

Talk about becoming consumed with my life. I realized this week that I had so much time to blog before er um at work!
Now that I am home I can find so much to mess with. Funny how that works - I was getting paid to blog and now that I am NOT getting paid I am working. I mean it is on the house but it is productive!


So not much is new. I had an interview last week that I think really went well and am crossing my fingers.
I have decided that the first job that I applied for is a lost cause and that the guy just did not want to let me know that I didn't get it. Grow some dude.
Anywho, I have ANOTHER interview tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me. I just do not see myself raising farm animals and veggies as a farm girl.

Bean is just as crazy as ever. He has grown up SO much it seems over the last month. I had a toddler at the beginning of the summer and now as the summer ends he is a little boy. It's kinda depressing.

Since I have nothing to really say and I know you don't want to read my incoherent rambling I leave you with Bean's latest.

After watching Karate Kid

Bean: Momma did you see that man do this?
Makes the motion of a karate chop
Me: Yes buddy I did see that. Pretty cool. I bet I could do that.
Bean: No momma only boys can cause we are SO strong.
Gee thanks and so it begins.

NO ONE IS CALLING ME

So I am proof I guess that the current economy sucks.
I have applied to oh I want to say about 30 jobs. And have had one, yes ONE interview.
WTH?
I mean I expect a little more of SOMETHING! A call, an e-mail, JUST SOMETHING letting me know that each attempt at applying to a job is not a black hole.
I was told at the ONE interview to expect a call, good or bad, last week. Well hello it is MONDAY. I mean really?
I am going crazy here with worry over not getting a job. Ever.
So will someone give me some good job vibes? I need 'em!

Miss me????

Cause I miss ALL of you.

Nothing new to report.
Still trying to get settled.
Still do not have a job.
Still going crazy.
Down to three birds. The roosters moved away (thank GOD)
Still not knocked up. (WHEWWWW!!!!)
However getting tests run.
Apparently at my OB visit this week the doc is concerned and will be running a sonogram.
For what? I have NO flippin clue.

I need to catch up on everyone!!!!

I am wiped out and apparently getting ready to be knocked up

So we are back in our old house. My last day at my job was yesterday and now I am trying to sort through all of the stuff that we had down south that is now piled in my living room. Yeah.
Bud has been up here for over a month now and well not much has been done on the organizational department or moving department. Unless you count the recent acquisition of birds and rabbits.
Well I decided before we moved back that I wanted to move all of the rooms around therefore creating a VERY large cluster.
Well apparently Bud know something I do not. See he is redoing Bean's room. It is a Car's theme. So he has been painting and working on that. Well in the old room that used to be Bean's nursery that is now a "guest room" he started to put up Bean's crib and furniture.
I was like WHY??????? do we need a crib?
He said that he FEELS that we need to hurry up in the kid making department. That he isn't getting any younger.
WTH?
Oh and did I mention that I am NOT currently on BC? Yeah OB won't refill it until I make an appointment. Which I did. I am going next week.
Until then? There will be NO Mommy-Daddy time.

WW: My Little Cowboy

Quality sucks since I scanned them in. Sorry!

The farmer in the dell...

So how was your weekend? Good you say? Exciting?
Well I bet I can up you one.
I had a good weekend per say. However, we did acquire some new pets.

My husband, God help him, or help me, thinks he is a farmer.
This obsession began when we bought the house we are living in. We acquired 4 acres along with the house that was in farm type area.
It was good with me. I was about 2 months preggo when we bought it and even though I could smell the nasty manure across the way at my neighbors I enjoyed the quiet this area brought.
I mean after all I did sleep most of my first trimester.
So while I sat and enjoyed the quiet my husband had a another plan up his sleeve. What's that you ask?
Oh my husband dreamed of a farm. A real farm with cows, horses, chicken, and even a little barefoot pregnant wife walking around.
I however did not share this same dream.
I liked the quiet, and imagined that we would use our land for our new baby to play on with our dog (we only had one then). My dream was quiet. Nice.

Not good enough for the husband. So one day he scoured the local paper and found horses for sale. I groaned that no I did not want horses. It was just one more thing to take care of and right then I was lucky I was able to feed myself through my constant nausea. Forget some stinky horses.
Well he was insistent. "Let's just go look."
I figured what was the harm in entertaining his idea.
Well we came home with TWO horses.

After I had Bean and being so sick I just could not keep up with the horses. Our neighbor took over and we eventually sold them to her. I see them all the time when I walk out my door and they let me pet them. So I get to see them and pet them. I just don't have to take care of them anymore.
Which was good since it was not my idea to get them!

So this weekend husband wanted to go to a livestock auction. He wanted some goats. I was like whatever. Goats were easier than horses right?
Well we never got the goats.
BUT we did inherit three bunnies, 2 roosters, and 6 guinea fowl. Oh yay.

Have I ever mentioned that I am TERRIFIED of birds? I like them in a cage but that is the extent. Now I have 8 (well 7 now - the neighbors dog ate one guinea this morning) BIRDS walking around.

I was kind of hoping that they would wander off overnight (the birds) and I would never see them again. Nope.
They may be dumb animals but they know where the food is.

So that brings me to this:

HUSBAND FOR SALE: late 20's, dark hair, hazel eyes, believes self to be a farmer. If you want to entertain his belief, he is yours. Comes complete with set of roosters and a few guinea.

Shop until ya drop

So I admit it. I am an AVID shopper. I could shop anytime, anywhere. Shoot if you live in a town with one Wal-Mart and I come to visit you? You can bet I'll have a shopping spree at that Wal-Mart.

Well all of my friends and family used to tease me and say that I needed a little girl one day to shop with. That she and I would create a deep hole in hubby's pocket.
When I was newly preggo with Bean everyone swore up and down it would be a girl. I was adamant that it was a boy.
My mom asked me to repeat myself when I told her the ultrasound results. They were just SOOO sure it was a girl.
Nope.

However, my not having a girl has not slowed down my shopping in the least.
There are some cute clothes for boys nowadays. I personally love me some Gymboree.
Anyways, my child did inherit my love for shopping.
Penis or no penis that kid loves to shop.

When we drive by the shopping center I hear in the backseat:
"Momma? Can we go to Tawget?"
"Not today bud"
"PUH-lease Momma! I need some shoes."

Yeah not toys - shoes!!

So yesterday I had to run to Tawget as Bean calls it to get my second book in the series of Twilight. Well when we get there Bean heads STRAIGHT for the boys dept. and begins to comb the racks.
"I like this and this and this" he said as he piled up the clothes in his arms.
"Baby, those are too small for you."
"Oh" he said, "well how bout this?" He was holding a pair of running pants with a stripe down the side.
"Tell you what let's go home now but this weekend? We will shop your little heart out."
He smiled and said, "Okay momma!'

Oh yes, his Daddy is going to hate me for this one...

So I decided I want to be a vampire...

so I can marry Edward.
Wait did I just write that? Oh God I did.
Whatever anyone that reads the Twilight series knows how I feel. I just finished the first book. My silly old life kept getting in the way so last night I just sat up and read it.
And let me tell you? It was AWESOME. I am going out today to get book #2. I hear through the grapevine that I may not like Edward in the coming books but phsaw! to them. I am in LOVE with him.
Love. Love. Love.
Ahhh.........

Okay let me snap out of it.
So want to hear JUST how BRILLIANT I am? You do? Well since we had left our old home vacant for so long my yard was a bit of a mess. (Not like it was awesome before I have a black thumb).
So due to my lack of gardening skills I had several very tall plants growing. Some of you MAY refer to them as weeds.
Well I was all set on pulling them all out of my flower beds. I tugged and pulled on those suckers but I got em out.
Well my dear Bud noticed we had several patches of poison ivy around the yard. (We live on 4 acres) and bought some killer for them.
Well he called me this morning and asked if I had any itching or redness on my hands.
Nope I told him.
But then I was like, "Gee honey why do you ask?"
Turns out those weeds I was pulling? POSION SUMAC.
Yeah. I am the SMARTEST girl ever.
But I think I should be okay. It's been 4 days and nothing.
Pray for my wittle hands.
Now I leave you with the Twilight trailer. Oh yes you will LURVE it.

Freaking nut jobs.

So I was all set to write a post about one specific event but then AFF reminded me of something that happened to me a while back and well I decided that while it was fresh in my mom brain (really it is a disease!!!!) that I had better post about it.

So AFF was approached by some random dude at the mall. No biggie. I mean she is hot what do you expect? Well my story was a bit more freaky.
I was on my way to work one day and stopped at Wawa (you don't have Wawa???? OMG you are missing out) to grab something for breakfast.
Well I was behind this older man (think dad type) and he asked the cashier to ring me up.
Well we both must have looked confused. The guy went on to explain to the cashier that I was just too pretty and that he wanted her to ring me up and PUT ME IN HIS BAG.
Um yeah. I just kind of gave him a weird smile and tried to ignore him.
He just kept going on and on. Finally one of the guys I work with happened to walk up and the guy backed off.
Seriously? People like this really exist?
He was probably a rapist or something freakish.
Or a nut job.

Moving on......

So coincidentally the post I was going to write about is another nut job situation of sorts. My son is with my mother this week. She has been dying to keep him for an extended period so we agreed to this week. Well the other day she, my dad and Bean went to see Wall-E.
Now my mother has birthed three children. She is not new to the parenting field. Well she bought Bean one of those jumbo drinks. I think it was lemonade. Well Bean is like any child and just kept sipping at his drink throughout the movie. Well we all know what that amount of liquid does to a child size bladder.
He had to go pee halfway through the movie so my mom took him.
Then right before the end of the move he had to go again. He told her he had to GO RIGHT NOW.
She kept trying to tell him that the movie was almost over but being a freshly trained child he knew that when you have to go? It is right now.
So what did my mother do you ask?
Well only the most trashy thing I can think of.
She grabbed her empty soda cup and told Bean to pee in it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE THEATER.


I mean really? How hard is it to walk to the bathroom? Yeah so he misses the end of the movie. Who cares? My dad could have told them what happened.
But no, apparently my mother was too into the movie herself so she had my kid pee in the cup. Nice huh?
Now if it had been a road trip and there was nowhere for them to stop and THEN she had him pee in a cup? Well that would have been fine. But not in a MOVIE theater with a bathroom right there!!!
Another freaking nut job.

On a side note: I am fully engrossed in Twilight. It is so good. I can't wait to see what happens.

Just twist my arm a little more...

I jumped on the band wagon last night. I have now been officially sucked into the series known as Twilight. I admit I did it mainly out of curiosity and also to fulfill my need to read. I am a notorious bookworm. Being a mom however has caused my list of "to read" books to grow by the day.
I heard about the series from Janet. Her daughter, Roo girl is obsessed with the series. I chalked it up then to being a teenage series. Then good old AFF became sucked into the series. Then I saw it on the news.
So I did what every follower does. I bought the first book in the series.
And now? I am hooked.

I am one of those people that finds it VERY hard to stop reading a book once I begin. VERY hard.
So I am sure that during this time my husband will be neglected, the house will be messy and my work will suffer.
But I will finish this book!


Oh on a side note - the Bean is visiting his grandma up north this week. This allows me to indulge my reading habit.
Of course even with Bean gone I still get to hear all of the crazy thoughts come out of his mouth.
The latest?
A fire truck and police car passed his grandma's car yesterday on the way to the store.
Bean looked at my mom and said, "Nana? Did somebody die?"
My mother was shocked and said, "No honey why?"
Bean said, "Well they must have been very very bad."

Sorry Mrs. Butterworth

Apparently I have failed.
I took off work this past Friday in order to gain some control over my crazy life and ended up with even more to do. That just sucks.
I kept Bean home with me that day. I asked him when he got up what he wanted for breakfast.

"Pancakes."
"Um, how bout an egg Buddy! I can make it and then you can add ketchup!" (yes I know it is revolting but he loves it)
"No Momma pancakes."
"Um well Daddy usually makes those. And he is at work."
"YOU can make them Momma."
"Actually Buddy (hanging head in shame) I can't. Mommy never learned how."
"Why Momma?" (yep we are in the why phase, please shoot me)
" I just never learned."
"Oh"

Yeah I felt like a failure! Like Mrs. Butterworth was LAUGHING at me. It sucked.
Now I love to cook. I try just about anything. but pancakes? Scare me. I should have tried to make them I really should have. Bad momma!

And thanks for the comments on my 100 things post.

IT TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE!

I am still shocked no one had any reaction to my boob comment. But then you are women and not men.
The word boob would have been the only thing they saw in the entire post.

100 things about yours truly

Oh yeah baby. I have made it. Who'uve thunk it? 100 posts.

So apparently I hear that when one reaches this magical number that we have to list 100 things about ourselves.

Sheesh. I hope I do not disappoint.

1. I am female.
   
2. I have blue eyes. (yes I know I am starting slow. Bear with me. I need to warm up)
   
3. I have no idea what my natural hair color is. I'll have to inspect my roots better one day. Let's just say the color changes whenever I get it done.
   
4. I am married to my high school sweetheart. ( I know, I know AWWWWWW!)
   
5. We have been together for 11 years this year. (November 21st. Write it down. I'll wait.)
   
6. We have created a perfect child together. The Bean. No, I am not biased. Of course his perfection level changes on a daily basis. Be sure to ask me on a good day 'kay?
   
7. Small confession:I was pregnant when I got married. Yes, Bean was a surprise. There IS a story here. Apparently I figured that when one is on birth control then that person is covered for a few months AFTER coming off of it. Or so I was told. By a VERY unreliable source might I add. (They seemed reliable THEN in my defense!)
   
8. I was in the middle of planning our wedding when the stick had a + sign. This is turn changed our date and we moved it up. Our date was set for April but we got married September 4th.
9. I was 16 weeks pregnant when I said "I do". Bud and I are planning on having a vow renewal next year!!
   
10. Bud LOVES to tell people we were married in a bar. In my defense it was a RESTAURANT. I swear. But yes it did have a bar in it. He exaggerates. A lot.
    
11. I finished my last semester of college when I was pregnant with Bean. He was born 3 weeks after I finished.
    
12. Bean was originally due February 22nd 2005. He had a different plan and arrived January 17th 2005.
    
13. I had an emergency c-section.
    
14. I was VERY sick with HELLP when I had Bean.
    
15. His birth was both the happiest and scariest day of my life.
    
16. I was 34 weeks pregnant when he was born. Luckily he was healthy. He weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces and was 19 3/4 inches when he was born. Imagine if he had been full term.
    
17. I was in the hospital over a week. It sucked. But this was not my longest hospital stay. See # 47
    
18. I began my college career set out to be an elementary school teacher.
    
19. Plans change. I became a history major.
    
20. I love early American history and WWII. I recently became interested in European history. Especially the English monarchy. Fascinating stuff actually. It is JUST like a soap opera. Try it you just might like it.
    
21. Okay yes I am a dork. I watch the History channel. Shut up it rocks.
    
22. When people meet me they think I am an airhead. I love to surprise them.
    
23. I also used to be told that I was not easily approachable because I looked like a snob. I am not. Those that know me well know this is true.
    
24. I was born and raised a Navy brat.
    
25. I am very supportive of our military. I know I have a greater appreciation for them since I know what it is like being a family member of one.
    
26. My father, brother and brother-in-law are active duty in the military.
    
27. I pray for them and all of the military everyday.
    
28. I grew up in Southern Virginia. I love it there and know that one day it will be my home again.
    
29. I have moved more with my husband that I ever did as a Navy brat. This baffles me.
    
30. I have lived in Florida, Washington D.C., Northern Virginia and Southern Virginia.
    
31. I love animals. I think my true calling was to be a vet. That will never happen. So I just try to convince Bud to let me have as many as possible.
    
32. So far I have two Golden Retrievers and I adore them.
    
33. One of my Golden's only has three legs. He was hit by a car last year. The car that hit him was my neighbor.He was speeding down a one way street and still has not come over to apologize. This was over a year ago. I believe that karma is a b*tch.
    
34. I am a list freak. That does not mean I complete everything on them. I just like to write stuff down.
    
35. I alphabetize everything. DVD's, books, spices. It is an illness. Or at least Bud swears it is.
    
36. In fact, apparently this illness is SO freaky that I also have my closet color coordinated. Remind me to show you a picture sometime.
37. I guess after stating the above two confessions you could come to the conclusion that yes, I thrive on organization. Bud does not. He thrices on chaos.
38. I am a planner. I like to have things planned out. SO far in my life this NEVER happens. See # 8 and #16.
39. It is a wonder I am not on some type of medication that helps me cope with my life. My mom tells me I should be. I tell her to pop a Xanax and leave me alone.
40. I am the go-to person in my family. Have a problem? Please call me. Apparently I specialize in pregnancy issues, parenting, relationships,technology, cooking and party planning and pet care. (Personally I don't think so)
41. I have an undeniable obsession with the Internet. I love it. I need it.
42. I feel that TiVo is one of the best inventions since sliced bread. Truly.
43. I watch too much T.V. (See above)
44. My favorite T.V. shows are usually mind numbing. Currently I never miss: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Desperate Housewives, Lost, Gossip Girl, The Hills (shut up you watch it too).
45. I have almost died twice.
46. No, I am not being dramatic it is true. See #14 and I'll explain the other.
47. I was 15 years old the first time I came close to death. I was driving to school with Bud(we had JUST started dating) and we had a head on collision with an 18-wheel logging truck. We were in a Honda Civic. I had to be cut out of the car with the jaws-of-life. Then along with Bud was airlifted to the nearest trauma unit.
48. I survived (obviously!) with a broken right femur and a NASTY gash in my right knee. Bud broke the same bone.
49. We both had titanium rods in our legs. Bud had his taken out 8 years ago. I decided after watching how painful the recovery from THAT was that I'd leave mine alone.
50. I started dating young. See #47.
51. .
52. I have been best friends with my BFF since I was 8.
53. I honestly do not know what I would do without her.
54. Actually most of my friends are from my younger days. What can I say? I am loyal.
55. I admit I have neglected my girlfriends over the years.
56. Then I discovered that one needs her girlfriends and have vowed to never let that happen again.
57. Out of my close friends I am the only one with a kid.
58. This can be challenging sometimes. It is hard for kidless people to understand why you can't drop everything to go out.
59. But luckily my friends, my good friends, understand and Bean loves them as much as I do.
60. I think that is a very special thing. He has more "aunts" and "uncles" than I ever had.
61. I have never lost anyone very close to me. I dread the day that it actually happens.
62. Although my family can drive me crazy it is so hard for me to be away from them .Hence the reason I never actually went "away" to college!
63. I have never had a speeding ticket. Or any ticket for that matter.
64. Now that I have said that I will probably get one today. Crap.
65. I admit my most favorite holiday is Christmas. Not the present portion. I love the decorations, music and "other stuff". I really appreciate it more since Bean was born.
66. I love music. All types. One day I'll be listening to Top 40, the next country, the following day it could be classic rock.
67. I will say that if I HAVE to choose my favorite it's country. Love it.
68. However, my all-time favorite band is Dave Matthews. I will finally see them live in a week. I can not WAIT.
69. My favorite movie of all time is Steel Magnolias. I swear I have it memorized.
70. My second most favorite is The Notebook. Whatever you know you like it too.
71. I love Jodi Piccoult. Her novels are awesome. If you have never read her before start off with "My Sister's Keeper." You will not be disappointed.
72. I love football. Seriously love it. I was a cheerleader growing up and I think it began there. There is nothing like a fall night watching a game. Awesome.
73. I collect snow globes.
74. And shot glasses. I have them from all over the world. (Thanks to my dad and brother)
75. I love to travel.
76. I have been to a few foreign countries: Germany, Australia (GO if you ever get a chance!), Austria, the Dominican Republic, and the Bahamas (that doesn't really count).
77. I am working my way around the U.S. so far: Florida, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, New Jersey, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New York, Rhode Island, Kentucky, Ohio, West Virginia, Tennessee, California and Arizona. 18 so far. I have a ways to go!
78. I have a special love for the beach. Most people say they do but I really love it. There is nothing like it.
79. My favorite smell is fresh linen.
80. My second favorite is the beach.
81. My favorite food ever is spaghetti.
82. I also have a love for authentic Mexican.
83. And bread. God I love me some fresh baked bread. No sourdough though. Nasty.
84. Oh and fresh tomatoes. With salt. MMMMM. I lived on that when I was preggo.
85. I love to cook. I am always trying new recipes on Bud and Bean.
86. I love to have Bean help me in the kitchen. He is an awesome stirrer.
87. My favorite alcoholic drink ever is a good margarita (frozen no salt). You can usually find me with a rum and coke or some white wine.
88. I really don't drink much anymore. I can go weeks without any alcohol. I am not sure when this started.
89. I could live on sweet tea.
90. I secretly eat Famous Amos cookies when no one is around.
91. My favorite place to shop is Express. I could spend a fortune in there. And V Secret.
92. I love to wear heels. Bud hates when I wear heels.
93. That is because Bud is not tall. I blame that on his Italian background.
94. However, Bean, he is TALL. 43 inches at 3.5 years old.
95. I like to dress up but I could live in jeans and a sweatshirt.
96. I always wear my diamond tennis bracelet. Always. It's lucky. I think.
97. And my wedding set.
98. Oh and my boobs - totally fake.

DONE!

WHERE is the trash can????

So I may have mentioned on here at some point that I do not do vomit. Not from an animal, an adult and yes not even my own kid.

Puke FREAKS ME OUT. The sound, the smell, the LOOK!


So last night I knew something was up with Bean. The kid is three years old and was "resting" as he said on the couch.
Whaaa???? You're RESTING?

So I figured it was one of two things:
1. My child had been abducted by aliens and was now replaced by an alien look alike that OBVIOUSLY did not know that human toddlers never REST.
2. He was sick.

So I went into what Bud likes to call "Annoying Mommy" mode.

I started off with general questions.
"Bean what hurts? Your tummy, your throat, your head?????
"Nothing Mommy, I just tired."

I moved in deeper.
"Bean honey you can tell mommy. Did someone hurt your feelings?
"No momma"

I tried rewards.
"Bean honey you want some ice cream, cookies, um candy"
"No Mommy I fine."

OMG! Something was VERY wrong.

So I did what any other mommy would do.
I threatened.
"Bean if you do not tell Mommy where is hurts then I will have to take you to the doctor."
"NO MOMMY!!!!! PLEASE!"

NOTHING was working.

So after several long sighs from Bud that I was obviously annoying him as well, I gave up and decided to enjoy the "resting" Bean was doing.

Every time Bean moved I told Bud, "He is going to barf. I know it."
Bud would just look at me and roll his eyes.

"Leave the kid alone. He probably just got overheated today.

Humph. Like MEN know ANYTHING.

I decided I was right about an hour later when Bean went potty and had diarrhea.
"See!" I said triumphantly to Bud. "He IS sick. I knew it."

Bud sighed again.

Then at 10:30 Bean curled up on the couch and gagged.

"Oh God!" I panicked. Where? What? Ack what do I do?

I grabbed Bean as the first heaves came.

"Bud!!! HELP!!!!"

"Coming!!!"

Bud got to me with a trash can as Bean was finishing up his violent spewing.
Oh well better late than never.

So that began my night of the barfs with Bean.

Of course give Bud 24 hours and he'll get it. Pray for me. Sick men suck.

Sometimes I hate when I am right. Stupid mom intuition.