Thursday, May 8, 2008

Thursday Thirteen - If only my dogs could talk - wait they do!

Okay so after posting my meme yesterday I discovered that I am not the only um, special person that talks to my dogs.
Yes I know people talk to their dogs all the time. I just was unaware that like me, other people talk to them in deep conversations and make up voices for them.
Ha, if Biscuit (my oldest and first born child) could talk I imagine his voice to be a deep voice with a strong southern accent.
If Buckaroo (the youngest and three legger) could talk I think he would sound northern, maybe a New Jersey accent, but high pitched.

No I do not take anti-psychotic medications.

That being said my Thursday Thirteen post today is dedicated to my fur children and what they would say if they could talk.

1. Dad just let ANOTHER stinker. I thought I was ripe. Hey now don't go blaming it on me!

2. Why does she (me) throw perfectly lovely food away? That cheese wasn't moldy, it was just ripening.

3. Why does the kid insist that I am a pony? Look kid if I was a pony, I'd kick you right now.

4. Why does Mom talk to me like a baby? I am a grown man!!!!!! Does she realize how ridiculous she sounds? Maybe I'll just pretend to be asleep and she'll shut up.

5. Mom's feet taste good. Ew Dad's - not so much. (yes my dogs love to lick my feet. Not Bud's)

6. OMG! I think I heard a noise. Quick I must bark like mad to get mom and dad's attention. Oh it was the wind. No matter! Keep barking so not to look stupid.

7. Why is it that I don't have a place at the dinner table? Why do I get to lay under the table and stare at nasty legs all day? Do they not realize I am important? Oh kid has food - mine, mine , mine.

8. If only Mom knew how good toilet water was! Then maybe she'd leave the lid open for me.

9. Mom doesn't know we hide behind her so that Dad won't fuss at us for ripping up that paper in the living room. I'm blaming the kid.

10. Mom thinks we want to be near her when she cooks. Little does she know I'm here for anything that hits that floor.

11. Why does Mom insist on taking us to the lady that removed my manhood? Look, I know what she does and I have nothing left for her to take!

12. Taking medicine isn't that bad. I'm not telling her that, she thinks I need a piece of cheese to take it. I won't argue.

13. Why does Dad get to sleep with Mom? We know she'd rather have us to snuggle with.


Hyphen Mama said...

My Border Collie would say "What? I'm getting punished for something that other STUPID dog did? What a load of crap!"

Poltzie said...

Haha, htis is so true for our fur baby as well except she is so hyper that she would say all those things much faster!

LaskiGal said...

Hilarious!!! Seriously, I think you are spot on!

"Quick I must bark like mad to get mom and dad's attention. Oh it was the wind. No matter! Keep barking so not to look stupid." Hee hee!!! So cute!

Colleen said...

yep, that's what my dogs would say!