Bean said what?

So I am a rebel and decided to make Friday blogs Bean funny blogs.
Yeah I know call the police! I am K-ARA-ZY!
So as most of us with toddlers or who one had a toddler knows they say some of the craziest damn things.
Bean is no exception to this rule.
I have noticed as he gets older what he says makes more sense. But then sometimes it still comes out as some strange sounding ChiJapaish jumbo that I just can not comprehend.

This frustrates me.

For example the other day he is getting dressed. Some days he'll do it. Other days he acts like an old man with Alzheimers and makes me do it.
Well he came running up to me and asked where his blocks were. I was busy doing something and was like, "Kid, they are in your room."
"No Mommy, my blocks were are they?"
"Kiddo in your ROOM." Great I thought he'll be just like his dad and ask me where the scissors are when he CLEARLY knows they are in the same drawer they have been in the past 4 years. I mean how hard is it to REMEMBER where they are when they have not moved in four years!!!
Ahem moving on.

"MOMMY MY BLOCKS!!!" clearly Bean was getting frustrated now as well.

I was confused. So I sat and thought what was making him so upset. While I stood there with a look of pure confusion Bean decided to take it to the next level and threw himself on the ground and became a screaming, crying mess.

Oye.

Ding the light came on when I saw his naked feet.

"Oh your SOCKS!" I said.

"Uh-huh" he said sniffling a large amount of snot up his nose.

Ew.

"Here kiddo" I gave him his blocks er socks.

And all was well with the world.

Now if it had been Bud that situation would have been much different. first if I had been home Bud would have yelled for me to see, "what the heck is the matter with this kid."
Or if I was out on a rare instance ALONE and not at work then Bud would have simply scooped Bean up, taken him to the car, and driven to get an ice cream cone.

And I bet he would have never noticed the bare feet.

I'm alive and behind

Sorry folks. I apparently decided to drop off the face of the earth for a few days!
Anyways we went to my parents for the holiday. That was an experience. No my mom was not crazy as she usually is but we had a bit of drama.

We were about 30 minutes away from my parents when my mom called my cell. I figured she was calling to complain that she was cooking dinner.

Nope.

She was crying and obviously shaken. "We had a fire, " she said. "Oh my GOD! Are you okay? What happened?" I asked.
Well apparently my dad had been on the deck and he had just gotten a new propane tank filled. Well he wanted to get the grill cleaned off and going so that we could cook out that night.
So he lit 2 burners and turned them on low. Well for some reason the flames were just not responding so he pulled the tank out slightly and shook it a little to release air (Note to self: NEVER do that!).
Well when he shook it something happened. We are still unsure as to what.
But the tank acted as a blow torch and created a fireball. My dad yelled for my mom to call 911 and he grabbed the fire extinguisher.
Somehow all of their neighbors found out and all came running with fire extinguishers. My dad remained on the deck and was burned. My parents have a large (10 foot) glass slider that exploded into their eating area.
Their deck is ruined, the downstairs area was full of smoke, and my dad was burned. From a stupid grill.
So we got to the house as quickly as we could and I ended up following the ambulance that had my dad to the ER.
Bud stayed to help assess the damage.
My dad suffered 1st degree burns to his legs, arms and face. He had a few second degree burns on his hands.
It could have been SO much worse.

Bud later called me and said that they had cleaned the glass up from the door and placed plywood over the opening to protect the house until the insurance company showed up.
they have a fire cleaning crew there now. It will take a long time to clean up. Of course it doesn't help that my parents house is huge (almost 5000 square feet) and my mom has knick knacks everywhere.
And there is ash EVERYWHERE.

Needless to say it was an eye opening weekend. I am so glad my parents are okay. the house stuff can be replaced. They can't.
We know of a house up there that had a propane tank explode (no one was home) and the entire house was gone. Just exploded.
So please for all of you - never allow the little ones ANYWHERE near the grill when lit. They are just so unsafe. It gives me chills to think of Bean being on the deck when that thing exploded.




I do have some good news in light of all of this.

We are listing our house. Yep next week. We worked on a few details this past weekend. So say some good thoughts for me! I hope that bad boy sells.

Bean says...

My kid is a nut. He truly is. Now I am sure that most parents feel that their kid is absolutely hilarious but my kid takes the cake sometimes.
Here are some of the latest Bean expressions.


In Tropical Smoothie

Me: Bean what kind of smoothie do you want? The strawberry one or the chocolate one?
Bean: Ummmmm, I want a twaberry moovie please. And food.
Me: Bean this is just a snack. We'll eat dinner soon.
Bean: Momma I want a twaberry moovie and food PUHLEASE.
Me: (knowing I should just ignore him) Okay Bean I'll get you a twaberry moovie.
Bean: AND FOOD.


People there probably thought I never fed the kid.

At home

Me: Bean what are you doing?
Bean (holding a cookie above his head) Biscuit is gonna eat my cookie and if he does I gonna be SO mad at him.
Of course I think my kid forgot our dog stands taller than him so therefore his arms are just not long enough to avoid the jaws of Biscuit.

In the car

We are driving down the road and pass a man jogging.
Bean: Momma that man lost his car!


Going potty

Bean slides off the potty and looks in the toilet at his one single turd. He looks at me and says,
"Aww the poopy no have a mommy."

Wordless Wednesday: My Greatest Achievment

Latest and greatest

So this has been a stressful week to say the least. I have talked a lot. To Bud, to my friends, to myself.
It sucks right now as there is NO easy answer for what to do. Bud and I are getting along again so that is a positive. We have discussed his main reasoning for wanting to move back. He claims that with the poor economy and general costs of everyday items rising that we can't afford to rent a place easily. I looked over numbers with him and agreed.
Then back to the house sitting vacant up north. After reseraching properties near that area we were shocked to see several home that are significantly larger (by 2,000 square feet) and on MORE land (we are on 4 acres) going for MUCH LESS than we owe on our house. I swear these houses are being given away.
So what to do?
Well Bud has contacted his previous company who had offered when he left an open door to come back. His old boss said that at the moment there are no openings for his pay scale. Fine.
So we wait. Bud and I decided this: If his old boss comes back with an offer then Bud will go to his current company and see what they will offer to keep him here.
I am HOPING AND PRAYING that the current company will counter offer enough to help us move into a rental. Then hopefully the housing market will make a turn for the better and we can sell and this whole thing will be a bad memory.

One can hope...right?

So if you can say a little prayer that things work out for us.


On another note, my sweet child has gone from saying cute things to not saying cute things. Please someone tell me when this happened? For instance, he says "I am going to eat all the poop!"
Sick right? I digress.

THANK YOU!

First I wanted to thank all of you for your incredible support with my crazy life.

Your comments mean a lot to me.

Second I received an award!!! This is from Lori who write the most precious blog about Blake.

Thanks Lori!!!

I am passing this one on to Burgh Baby

and Hyphen Mama.

Life goes on...

Now I don't know about you but every time I say that the old TV theme goes through my head. And. it. does. not. stop.
Anyways, I want to thank everyone for all of the comments. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this and that people have been through it before.
So I had a good weekend. Bud actually remembered Mothers Day. It truly was a shocker.
I slept in (9:30!!!! Which is 3 hours more), Bud went to Starbucks and got me a caramel macchiatto (EXTRA Caramel por favor) and flowers.
Bean made me a card which was super sweet. Then we lounged all day. Which was awesome. I had wanted to go strawberry picking but the weather had other plans.
So we watched movies in our jammies. Then Bud took me out for an uninterrupted dinner and a movie. This is a huge deal since the last movie I saw in theater (no laughing please) ahem! was the day before I had Bean. So almost THREE AND A HALF YEARS ago.
KARAZY I know!
We saw Made of Honor. Let me just say I have a huge crush on Patrick Dempsey. Seriously that movie made me love him a little more.
So all in all a good mommas day.
I am not sure if Bud read my blog or not but if he has he hasn't said so.
But it's like he has. We talked this weekend and I told him that we need to get our own place and that our old house MUST be put on the market. He agreed and we are checking out rentals and HOPE! to move in sometime next month.

So currently we are in honeymoon mode. And pardon me for thinking this but I am waiting for the bottom to fall out. You know the after math. As all of us marrieds know the honeymoon is a temporary state and soon it will all go back to the way it was.

In other news my Bean learned a not so nice word from Bud's aunt over the weekend. Can I just say that I am NOT HAPPY. Yeah this particular aunt has a terrible mouth and my kid now says, hold on, let me whisper it to you. It is so terrible. Bean says, f**k it now. Yeah. I know. Great huh?
So I get to play the stupid act and GOD FORBID he says is at school. I have to say he is trying to say Buck, (our dog).

But yeah on that note, Life goes on Life goes on ohhhhhhhh lalalalalalala......

Thursday Thirteen - If only my dogs could talk - wait they do!

Okay so after posting my meme yesterday I discovered that I am not the only um, special person that talks to my dogs.
Yes I know people talk to their dogs all the time. I just was unaware that like me, other people talk to them in deep conversations and make up voices for them.
Ha, if Biscuit (my oldest and first born child) could talk I imagine his voice to be a deep voice with a strong southern accent.
If Buckaroo (the youngest and three legger) could talk I think he would sound northern, maybe a New Jersey accent, but high pitched.

No I do not take anti-psychotic medications.

That being said my Thursday Thirteen post today is dedicated to my fur children and what they would say if they could talk.

1. Dad just let ANOTHER stinker. I thought I was ripe. Hey now don't go blaming it on me!

2. Why does she (me) throw perfectly lovely food away? That cheese wasn't moldy, it was just ripening.

3. Why does the kid insist that I am a pony? Look kid if I was a pony, I'd kick you right now.

4. Why does Mom talk to me like a baby? I am a grown man!!!!!! Does she realize how ridiculous she sounds? Maybe I'll just pretend to be asleep and she'll shut up.

5. Mom's feet taste good. Ew Dad's - not so much. (yes my dogs love to lick my feet. Not Bud's)

6. OMG! I think I heard a noise. Quick I must bark like mad to get mom and dad's attention. Oh it was the wind. No matter! Keep barking so not to look stupid.

7. Why is it that I don't have a place at the dinner table? Why do I get to lay under the table and stare at nasty legs all day? Do they not realize I am important? Oh kid has food - mine, mine , mine.

8. If only Mom knew how good toilet water was! Then maybe she'd leave the lid open for me.

9. Mom doesn't know we hide behind her so that Dad won't fuss at us for ripping up that paper in the living room. I'm blaming the kid.

10. Mom thinks we want to be near her when she cooks. Little does she know I'm here for anything that hits that floor.

11. Why does Mom insist on taking us to the lady that removed my manhood? Look, I know what she does and I have nothing left for her to take!

12. Taking medicine isn't that bad. I'm not telling her that, she thinks I need a piece of cheese to take it. I won't argue.

13. Why does Dad get to sleep with Mom? We know she'd rather have us to snuggle with.

I was tagged for a meme by Lori go check out her blog! Her little boy, Blake, is a cutie!

a. Link to the person who tagged you
b. Post the rules on your blog.
c. Write six random things about yourself.
d. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
e. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.
f. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.
Random items about me

1. I am country. Secretly more so that I let on. I could almost be classified as redneckish.

2. I talk to my dogs as if they were people. I actually have one ended conversations with them. I though everyone did. Until I was caught.

3. I am a perfectionist at work. Rarely does an e-mail go out without vigorous proofreading. Same goes for everything else. I am SUCH a freak about it.

4. I could listen to music all day. I am loving Pandora and I have it on everyday at work. I have recently rediscovered my favorite 90's music.

5. I used to want to model when I was a teenager. I thought it would be so glamourous. Until I got shot down by a casting company that told me I was 2 inches too short. I was devestated.

6. I am a clothes horse. I could buy clothes all day. I don't wear half of them. I just like to have them just in case.


I tag:
1. Someone being me
2. Wine Please
3. Poltzie
4. Catwoman
5. Law Student Hot Mama
6. Keri

Momma 'ook a pillar

So Bean has decided that he now likes bugs. He used to shriek and run at the mere sight of them. I have NO idea where he got that from. Ahem.

Apparently Bean has made a new guy friend (before all of his friends were girls, player in the making) at school. This little boy is obsessed with worms, creepy crawlies and all that jazz.

So of course so is Bean now. Saturday we were out in the yard and I hear " Momma 'ook a pillar."

And there was a nasty little furry catepillar. Shudder.

Bean decided to pick it up and make it his new best friend. He seriously played with that thing for hours. It rode on his 4 wheeler with him, walked around the yard on his arm, and rode on the lawnmower with Bean and Bud.

Poor catepillar was dropped several times. That is probably why it never scurried off when given the opportune moment. It was half dead.

Finally when Bean wasn't looking I made Bud put the thing on a tree. I had vision of Bean holding it too tightly and it getting squished.

Bean looked for that thing forever. I told him the pillar had to go home to his momma.

He was satisfied.

Bud said maybe Bean needs a friend, like a brother. I told him that a catepillar worked for now.

Check back tomorrow! I will post a SUPER embarrasing moment per Witchypoo's request.

How to build readership?

So I have been blog surfing lately and I must say there are some SUPER FUNNY blogs out there. I am actually a frequent visitor to a few. (You know who you are!)

But I want to make my blog fun and interesting. I always get an awesome idea for a blog then sit down and write it and it sucks.

So I am asking those who do read me- what can I do to make my blog more interesting?

Oh and a recent pic of the fam for ya!

We are minus one kid - Roo. He is camera shy.