I am wiped out and apparently getting ready to be knocked up

So we are back in our old house. My last day at my job was yesterday and now I am trying to sort through all of the stuff that we had down south that is now piled in my living room. Yeah.
Bud has been up here for over a month now and well not much has been done on the organizational department or moving department. Unless you count the recent acquisition of birds and rabbits.
Well I decided before we moved back that I wanted to move all of the rooms around therefore creating a VERY large cluster.
Well apparently Bud know something I do not. See he is redoing Bean's room. It is a Car's theme. So he has been painting and working on that. Well in the old room that used to be Bean's nursery that is now a "guest room" he started to put up Bean's crib and furniture.
I was like WHY??????? do we need a crib?
He said that he FEELS that we need to hurry up in the kid making department. That he isn't getting any younger.
WTH?
Oh and did I mention that I am NOT currently on BC? Yeah OB won't refill it until I make an appointment. Which I did. I am going next week.
Until then? There will be NO Mommy-Daddy time.

WW: My Little Cowboy

Quality sucks since I scanned them in. Sorry!

The farmer in the dell...

So how was your weekend? Good you say? Exciting?
Well I bet I can up you one.
I had a good weekend per say. However, we did acquire some new pets.

My husband, God help him, or help me, thinks he is a farmer.
This obsession began when we bought the house we are living in. We acquired 4 acres along with the house that was in farm type area.
It was good with me. I was about 2 months preggo when we bought it and even though I could smell the nasty manure across the way at my neighbors I enjoyed the quiet this area brought.
I mean after all I did sleep most of my first trimester.
So while I sat and enjoyed the quiet my husband had a another plan up his sleeve. What's that you ask?
Oh my husband dreamed of a farm. A real farm with cows, horses, chicken, and even a little barefoot pregnant wife walking around.
I however did not share this same dream.
I liked the quiet, and imagined that we would use our land for our new baby to play on with our dog (we only had one then). My dream was quiet. Nice.

Not good enough for the husband. So one day he scoured the local paper and found horses for sale. I groaned that no I did not want horses. It was just one more thing to take care of and right then I was lucky I was able to feed myself through my constant nausea. Forget some stinky horses.
Well he was insistent. "Let's just go look."
I figured what was the harm in entertaining his idea.
Well we came home with TWO horses.

After I had Bean and being so sick I just could not keep up with the horses. Our neighbor took over and we eventually sold them to her. I see them all the time when I walk out my door and they let me pet them. So I get to see them and pet them. I just don't have to take care of them anymore.
Which was good since it was not my idea to get them!

So this weekend husband wanted to go to a livestock auction. He wanted some goats. I was like whatever. Goats were easier than horses right?
Well we never got the goats.
BUT we did inherit three bunnies, 2 roosters, and 6 guinea fowl. Oh yay.

Have I ever mentioned that I am TERRIFIED of birds? I like them in a cage but that is the extent. Now I have 8 (well 7 now - the neighbors dog ate one guinea this morning) BIRDS walking around.

I was kind of hoping that they would wander off overnight (the birds) and I would never see them again. Nope.
They may be dumb animals but they know where the food is.

So that brings me to this:

HUSBAND FOR SALE: late 20's, dark hair, hazel eyes, believes self to be a farmer. If you want to entertain his belief, he is yours. Comes complete with set of roosters and a few guinea.

Shop until ya drop

So I admit it. I am an AVID shopper. I could shop anytime, anywhere. Shoot if you live in a town with one Wal-Mart and I come to visit you? You can bet I'll have a shopping spree at that Wal-Mart.

Well all of my friends and family used to tease me and say that I needed a little girl one day to shop with. That she and I would create a deep hole in hubby's pocket.
When I was newly preggo with Bean everyone swore up and down it would be a girl. I was adamant that it was a boy.
My mom asked me to repeat myself when I told her the ultrasound results. They were just SOOO sure it was a girl.
Nope.

However, my not having a girl has not slowed down my shopping in the least.
There are some cute clothes for boys nowadays. I personally love me some Gymboree.
Anyways, my child did inherit my love for shopping.
Penis or no penis that kid loves to shop.

When we drive by the shopping center I hear in the backseat:
"Momma? Can we go to Tawget?"
"Not today bud"
"PUH-lease Momma! I need some shoes."

Yeah not toys - shoes!!

So yesterday I had to run to Tawget as Bean calls it to get my second book in the series of Twilight. Well when we get there Bean heads STRAIGHT for the boys dept. and begins to comb the racks.
"I like this and this and this" he said as he piled up the clothes in his arms.
"Baby, those are too small for you."
"Oh" he said, "well how bout this?" He was holding a pair of running pants with a stripe down the side.
"Tell you what let's go home now but this weekend? We will shop your little heart out."
He smiled and said, "Okay momma!'

Oh yes, his Daddy is going to hate me for this one...

So I decided I want to be a vampire...

so I can marry Edward.
Wait did I just write that? Oh God I did.
Whatever anyone that reads the Twilight series knows how I feel. I just finished the first book. My silly old life kept getting in the way so last night I just sat up and read it.
And let me tell you? It was AWESOME. I am going out today to get book #2. I hear through the grapevine that I may not like Edward in the coming books but phsaw! to them. I am in LOVE with him.
Love. Love. Love.
Ahhh.........

Okay let me snap out of it.
So want to hear JUST how BRILLIANT I am? You do? Well since we had left our old home vacant for so long my yard was a bit of a mess. (Not like it was awesome before I have a black thumb).
So due to my lack of gardening skills I had several very tall plants growing. Some of you MAY refer to them as weeds.
Well I was all set on pulling them all out of my flower beds. I tugged and pulled on those suckers but I got em out.
Well my dear Bud noticed we had several patches of poison ivy around the yard. (We live on 4 acres) and bought some killer for them.
Well he called me this morning and asked if I had any itching or redness on my hands.
Nope I told him.
But then I was like, "Gee honey why do you ask?"
Turns out those weeds I was pulling? POSION SUMAC.
Yeah. I am the SMARTEST girl ever.
But I think I should be okay. It's been 4 days and nothing.
Pray for my wittle hands.
Now I leave you with the Twilight trailer. Oh yes you will LURVE it.

Freaking nut jobs.

So I was all set to write a post about one specific event but then AFF reminded me of something that happened to me a while back and well I decided that while it was fresh in my mom brain (really it is a disease!!!!) that I had better post about it.

So AFF was approached by some random dude at the mall. No biggie. I mean she is hot what do you expect? Well my story was a bit more freaky.
I was on my way to work one day and stopped at Wawa (you don't have Wawa???? OMG you are missing out) to grab something for breakfast.
Well I was behind this older man (think dad type) and he asked the cashier to ring me up.
Well we both must have looked confused. The guy went on to explain to the cashier that I was just too pretty and that he wanted her to ring me up and PUT ME IN HIS BAG.
Um yeah. I just kind of gave him a weird smile and tried to ignore him.
He just kept going on and on. Finally one of the guys I work with happened to walk up and the guy backed off.
Seriously? People like this really exist?
He was probably a rapist or something freakish.
Or a nut job.

Moving on......

So coincidentally the post I was going to write about is another nut job situation of sorts. My son is with my mother this week. She has been dying to keep him for an extended period so we agreed to this week. Well the other day she, my dad and Bean went to see Wall-E.
Now my mother has birthed three children. She is not new to the parenting field. Well she bought Bean one of those jumbo drinks. I think it was lemonade. Well Bean is like any child and just kept sipping at his drink throughout the movie. Well we all know what that amount of liquid does to a child size bladder.
He had to go pee halfway through the movie so my mom took him.
Then right before the end of the move he had to go again. He told her he had to GO RIGHT NOW.
She kept trying to tell him that the movie was almost over but being a freshly trained child he knew that when you have to go? It is right now.
So what did my mother do you ask?
Well only the most trashy thing I can think of.
She grabbed her empty soda cup and told Bean to pee in it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE THEATER.


I mean really? How hard is it to walk to the bathroom? Yeah so he misses the end of the movie. Who cares? My dad could have told them what happened.
But no, apparently my mother was too into the movie herself so she had my kid pee in the cup. Nice huh?
Now if it had been a road trip and there was nowhere for them to stop and THEN she had him pee in a cup? Well that would have been fine. But not in a MOVIE theater with a bathroom right there!!!
Another freaking nut job.

On a side note: I am fully engrossed in Twilight. It is so good. I can't wait to see what happens.

Just twist my arm a little more...

I jumped on the band wagon last night. I have now been officially sucked into the series known as Twilight. I admit I did it mainly out of curiosity and also to fulfill my need to read. I am a notorious bookworm. Being a mom however has caused my list of "to read" books to grow by the day.
I heard about the series from Janet. Her daughter, Roo girl is obsessed with the series. I chalked it up then to being a teenage series. Then good old AFF became sucked into the series. Then I saw it on the news.
So I did what every follower does. I bought the first book in the series.
And now? I am hooked.

I am one of those people that finds it VERY hard to stop reading a book once I begin. VERY hard.
So I am sure that during this time my husband will be neglected, the house will be messy and my work will suffer.
But I will finish this book!


Oh on a side note - the Bean is visiting his grandma up north this week. This allows me to indulge my reading habit.
Of course even with Bean gone I still get to hear all of the crazy thoughts come out of his mouth.
The latest?
A fire truck and police car passed his grandma's car yesterday on the way to the store.
Bean looked at my mom and said, "Nana? Did somebody die?"
My mother was shocked and said, "No honey why?"
Bean said, "Well they must have been very very bad."

Sorry Mrs. Butterworth

Apparently I have failed.
I took off work this past Friday in order to gain some control over my crazy life and ended up with even more to do. That just sucks.
I kept Bean home with me that day. I asked him when he got up what he wanted for breakfast.

"Pancakes."
"Um, how bout an egg Buddy! I can make it and then you can add ketchup!" (yes I know it is revolting but he loves it)
"No Momma pancakes."
"Um well Daddy usually makes those. And he is at work."
"YOU can make them Momma."
"Actually Buddy (hanging head in shame) I can't. Mommy never learned how."
"Why Momma?" (yep we are in the why phase, please shoot me)
" I just never learned."
"Oh"

Yeah I felt like a failure! Like Mrs. Butterworth was LAUGHING at me. It sucked.
Now I love to cook. I try just about anything. but pancakes? Scare me. I should have tried to make them I really should have. Bad momma!

And thanks for the comments on my 100 things post.

IT TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE!

I am still shocked no one had any reaction to my boob comment. But then you are women and not men.
The word boob would have been the only thing they saw in the entire post.