Thursday, June 28, 2007

Do you have to pee pee Bean??

Potty Training.

It really sucks. I remember hearing all of the horror stories about it. How little Susie Q just would NOT poop in the potty, she preferred her pants. Or how little Johnny preferred to pee outside on a tree like the dog.

But I remained strong and brave and thought Hell I can SO do this.

Well I was luckier than most since Bean's daycare actually introduced him to the concept. I get a sheet everyday from his school with all of Bean's "outputs" if you will.

Well about a month or so ago I saw the letter "P" next to the time. I was like what the hell is that? Usually I get a "W" or a "BM" which I'm sure everyone knows what that is! So I asked his teacher what "P" stood for. "Oh that means Potty" she said. I was like "Oh really?" "Oh yeah Bean really does well on the Potty." she said. Crap I thought.
That's when I realized I was screwed. The time was already here that I had to step up and do my parenting thing.
I remained calm. I went out and bought Pull-ups and thought okay so what now? Does he tell me? Do I tell him he has to go?
Well I started with asking. "Bean do you have to use the potty?" "NO momma no potty" Bean would reply.
Oh-kaaaaay then! So after much deep thought I realized something - I would tell him.
"Bean it is time to go potty." I would then pick him up and take him potty and sit him on the prince throne that plays a trumpet when he goes.
He would sit and say "All done momma" I would peer between his legs and say "Nope not yet Bean". "I'm DONE momma" his voice would get higher. "No Bean not yet". Then he would jump off his potty and streak down the hall.

Potty Training sucks. Have I said that?

Well one night while in the tub Bean announced he had to poo poo. I was like AWESOME!! I pulled him out of the tub and sat him on the throne. Nothing. WTH!
So I put him back in the tub only to see about 2 minutes later his face looking strained with the "look".
So I went into Super mom mode! I pulled him out of tub and sat him BACK on the throne where he made a poop. A big one. I had never been prouder in my life.
"Bean you pooped!!!" I said. He beamed at me. "GOOD JOB!!!!!" I shouted. I was beyond happy. My kid had pooped. On the potty.
I proceeded to call Bud. "Bud, look Bean POOPED!!!" I said. "Good job Bean" he said. That it? I thought, Good job?
"Um Bud you need to be more excited for Bean". I lectured. "I am happy," Bud said, "what do you want me to say?"
"Well something besides Good job!" I said.
Bud just looked at me.

So last night the potty saga continued. I had been told by Bean's teachers that Bean had been using the potty over 75% of the time.

Okay then. I can make him do it. Last night while eating dinner Bean got the "look". I call it the poop look. It really is unmistakable.
So I said, "Okay on the potty bean!" I removed him from his seat and took him to the potty. When we got there he sat and made the tiniest turd ever. Really. It was the size of an eraser.
No matter.
" YAY BEAN!!!" I said. He smiled at me. "I go pee pee momma" he said. Then he stood up and PEED on the potty.
Well he missed and mostly got the floor but again no matter.
I said "That's my bean!!!!" I was so proud.

It's amazing this potty thing. I never thought it was something I would get excited about.
It's crazy really but I guess being a parent is sometimes.
More later.


Anonymous said...

DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My child is never going to pee in the potty. I feel like such a loser. A friend of mine's son who us 2 1/2 months younger than Madeline is using the potty. NO not Madeline WTH. I'm glad you little man is that is exciting for sure. Hopefully one day soon I can post that my daughter peed on the potty.

Anonymous said...

It is exciting! Sounds like you are doing everything right!


Anonymous said...

Ahhh, they joys of PTing. Who would have thought that so much of our day and so much of our conversation would revolve around whether or not Jr goes #1 or #2 and where.

I am glad to see that the world (or at least the World Wide Web) is full of others struggling with pee and poo.

Anonymous said...

I hate that all of the books say that you should let your child decide when they are ready to potty train. What about me? Can't we wait until I'm ready?! Seriously - two in diapers is not that bad, and I am getting tired of nursing the little one while sitting on the floor encouraging the oldest to "tell the pee pee to come out."

Good luck!